Thursday, April 17, 2014

Well at least one person cares

Lady: I know people have probably been in here all week looking for books on Ukraine, but do you have anything left on the shelf?

Me: Well, you're in luck, since unfortunately no one else has asked.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Lost and Found Inventory

Two backpacks
Sunglasses
Keys (how do the people get home??)
Coffee mug
Various non-library books, CDs, DVDs, etc
Scooter (again, would you not notice it was missing as you left on foot?)
... and a cocktail shaker (because we're classy like that)

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Refgrunt for last week

Woman: Hi, I don't know the author or title, but I know it is a book about a dog.
Me: Do you know if it is fiction or nonfiction?
W: Fiction I think.  Has something to do with autism I heard.
M: Could it be Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime?
W: Yes!  Thank you so much!  I knew you would get it.

-----

I helped a homeless man check out a Buffy the Vampire DVD and he said--
Your name should be Buffy.  Then he started to walk away but turned around and said, or better yet, Willow.  

(I have no clue that that means).

-----

12 year old girl:  Hi, I work here now.  I have a child job, I am a child worker.  What can I do?
--We got her signed up to be a student volunteer.

-----

Why do you have like 8 copies of Proof of Heaven?

-----

An elderly woman ordered Bully Pulpit in large print.  A big brick of a book arrived.  She came to the desk asking if I had a scale to weigh the book.  I said no, but I can look it up on Amazon.  I found that the "shipping weight" is 4 pounds.  She said she doesn't think she can carry it.   I asked her if she wanted me to check if we have an audio edition, but she said no thanks.

-----

One of the regulars was super angry because someone "stole his belongings."  I asked him if he wanted to call the police and file a report, and he said he will later, but he was shaking!  One of my colleagues overheard the conversation and said- sir, your belongings are right here by the catalog computers.  The man just said oh.  Not a thank you.  Just oh.

-----

A woman wanted to research how she could name a business.  I found on the county's site a way to search for fictitious business names.  She said that will never work, I need a database that will search the world.  I said- it says here that this is not done at the state level, just county.  She walked away and said I'll find it myself.


Friday, March 07, 2014

Mr. Goofy

Mr. Goofy walks by the desk several times during my shift.  Each time he walks by he has a joke:

Did you know I have 2 Porsches?  A front porch and a back porch!

Did you know that I won the lottery?

With all these jokes, I know you aren't gonna believe me, but did you know that I got an apartment and a job?  And I have the liberry to thank.
Yes, I remember you told me.
And that's serious. 

Service Dog

Me--  Excuse me, is your dog a service dog?
Woman-- in a sense... but I'm not really here.  I'm looking for my people.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Job Title

Angry customer:  Where's the computer manager?!

Life is complicated

Regular Customer:  It was so much easier when I was a bum.  I didn't have to wake up at 4am to go to work, didn't have all these bills and girlfriends.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

"I need Janet Reno's address!"


“I had her matched with Fess Parker, but then God’s wife told me that the Spanish lady is his soulmate.  So I need to write to Janet Reno and tell her Fess Parker isn’t her soulmate.  Because he’s dead.”

...welcome to the profession?


“I’m a library science student.  I need to find a book that was published before 1970.  Do you even…have any?  How would I find them?"