Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Stream of Consciousness

Repeat customer who comes once every few weeks--

A cookie will not solve my problems.  Plus, can you tell I lost 10 pounds?  (She wraps the cookie in a Kleenex and hands it to me).  Here, you have the cookie (and winks).  I am going to stay this size.  You know, I am going to go to Japan to write my book.  I really want the readers to feel like they are in Japan.  See, if I were writing about this city I wouldn't have to go anywhere.  But I am taking it one thing at a time,  see, I got pulled over for something I didn't do.  The cop asked for my papers but they disappeared.  So he wrote me up for a little something...  I should shut my mouth and be silent.  See, I am being respectful.  Goodbye.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Extremes of today

A woman came to the desk and said "I love you unconditionally.  Namaste."  Then a man asked me "where's your idiot boss?"  Poor Marian had to deal with him today...

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Liberries Today

I went to the doctor today and the nurse was asking me what I do at the liberry.  I said, oh, ask people to take their cell phones outside, tell kids not to run, basically babysit the public.  She said, you have an MLS, right?  Oh yes I do.  (I could have gone into the weeding that I love to do, but it didn't fit in the conversation).

Then she said that her son told her that she is so old that she probably remembers liberries when they had the Dewey Decimal System.  I said, yes, we still have it!  She said, good, I will tell him, that makes me feel better!

That's awesome

Regular guy comes out of no where and says "the 99 cents store has my favorite chocolate.  All the way from San Francisco!"

My colleague says -- that's great, awesome!

Monday, April 04, 2016


Man walks over to the desk and says there is cash in the copy machine.  I walked over to find $500 in cash along with an endorsed $1000 check and a deposit slip.  I tried to call the customer, let me call her Agnes McLafferty.  She didn't have voice mail, so I let my colleague Sunshine try to call her a little later.

The phone conversation between Sunshine and Mrs. McLafferty went like this--

Hello Mrs. McLafferty?  This is Sunshine from the library.
We found something that you are probably looking for.
Yes, a deposit slip.
That's funny.
And something with the deposit slip.

The conversation continued.  At the end Mrs. McLafferty said she was "disturbed" but will be at the library when we open tomorrow at 9am.  (Sunshine reminded her that we open at 9:30).

Poor Agnes!

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Customer argument

An argument arose between two customers.  Guy A wouldn't stop laughing at whatever he was watching on the Internet.  Guy B came to the desk and said that Guy A is "disruptive, disrespectful, and lacks self-control."  Guy A's response-- ran over to the desk and told Guy B to go to the "fourth level of hell."

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

make a reservation v. check out

The internet reservation station is next to the check out machines.  Sometimes people think they are checking out a book but in reality are making a reservation.  Today this woman said "it only gave me 45 minutes!"  I said that's because we close in 45 minutes.  She replied, "I usually get 3 weeks for my books!"

Oh, sorry!  We were expecting you to read everything you just "checked out" before we close!

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Fancy Liberry

Hey guess what?  Marian is coming to my branch, the "big fancy liberry" to be the Branch Manager!  Yay!  We've worked together in various liberries around the county since 2003!  Welcome Marian!