Stressed-out lady: There were over 20 books on stress here last time!! Where did they go?? I want the Time-Life book that has the list of the over 200 stressors we have in our lives!!
Me: (calmly) It looks like most of them are checked out, but let's go look at the shelf just in case.
We go to the shelf. The only book I can find is about stress in lions. (Where do we GET these books?)
Stressed-out lady: I don't want a book about LIONS. I want the book with the list of 200 stressors!! Did you see that movie Fahreheit 411? Where they burned the books? That's how the Nazis started, you know. Do you think the government took the books off the shelf?
Me: (ill-advisedly trying to be humorous) Well, you know, if they did, we couldn't tell you about it.
Stressed-out lady: WHAT?? You mean the government comes in here?? Don't you know about the Freedom of Information Act? I can write to them and get any information I want, they can't stop me!! I can't believe they would take all the books on stress!!!
Me: (very, very calmly, using Jedi mind breathing techniques) The government. Has not. Removed any. Books from. This library.
Why don't we try to order you a book from some other branch?