Monday, May 02, 2005

Ref Grunt! Because all the cool kids are doing it!

May 2, 2005 10am-12pm

(This is all the questions I got during my desk shift this morning. No additions or deletions, scout's honor!)

10:01 Where are your books on billiards?

10:02 Can we print?

10:05 (billiards guy returns)
Him: Can we buy any of these books?
Me: No, this is a library.
Him: I know, but even if you order extras, I can't buy them?
Me: No.
Him: You don't sell books at all?
Me: No.

10:10 PHONE: Cannery Row and Sweet Thursday by Steinbeck

10:15 PHONE: "I was reading on the internet about American Regionalism and how it's ruining our country. Do you have any books about that? I couldn't find very much on Google—I think it's a secret. They want to have appointed officials and do away with the elections, so it's very important to find out about it."

10:17 Do you have the phone book with the government agencies? And can you tell me which congressional district we're in?

10:23 Can I use the computer?

10:40 Can we use the computer?

10:48 PHONE:
Guy: My name is Brian, and I'd like to make a request.
Me: Okay, what is your request?
Guy: I want the video Sun Style Tai Chi, the 73 Forms.
Me: Sorry, we don't have it—we have one with 24 forms…
Guy: Can the library buy the 73 forms?
Me: Sure, come in and fill out a request form and we'll consider it.

10:50 Can you order Sea Wolves with David Niven, and Beethoven, you know, the one with the dog?

10:52 Can we use the computers? And can we print?

10:56
Girl: Can you help me print this out? It keeps getting cut off at the side.
Me: Sure.
(it's pictures of people with hideous mouth diseases from tobacco use.)
Me: Ew, gross.
Girl: (cracks up)

10:58 An older gentleman would like to know all eventualities of the internet policy, e.g. what if he gets off then gets back on, what if no one is waiting, etc. etc.

11:00 Books on electrolytes for a 5th grader

11:05 Can you help me get to Shrek2.com?

11:07 You can take that empty computer there, if you're waiting.

11:09 Guy in "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" shirt: "where do I pick up my prints?"

11:10 Can I use the computer? And where do you have books on representing yourself in court?

11:12 That other guy was helping me.

11:15
Lady: Can I order Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand?
Me: I think we have it on the shelf.
Lady: Wonderful!
Me: [NO NO NO, NOT WONDERFUL!! PUT DOWN THE CRACKPOT FREAK-NOVEL NOW!!] Um, yes, isn't it. Here you go.
Lady: Thank you!

11:18 I can't find that number you gave me.

11:19 Do you have paper?

11:20 And a pencil?

11:21
Guy: Can you run TurboTax on these computers?
Me: No, you can't run any outside software.
Guy: And you don't have it on there already, do you?
Me: Sorry, no.
Guy: Do you need a credit card to get on the computers?
Me: No, it's free.

11:33 I'm just looking for an internet computer.

11:36 PHONE: "I'm calling from out of state—do you have the [Large City Two Counties Away] Times from 1951, or do I need to call the [Large City] Public Library for that?"

11:41 Where are your books on interior design?

11:45 The children's librarian wants me to come look at some flyers or something.

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