Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Today, 6-8-2005, or why I have a headache!

I'm walking into work and I see a frequent customer, the one who is so hyper and must always borrow a pen, not golf pencil. She's so joyous and tells me she just went there. Now she is meeting with Condi Rice. When she open her own business she will visit. She thanked me for my patience and said this little liberry has been so good to me.

[OK, but we're not little. We won the prize for circulating the most books and serving the most patrons in the county! yea...]

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Woman with broken English is looking for books on n-u-r-s-i-n-g. I show her the books in the pregnancy section; then she tells me she wants to become a nurse. Joke's on me.

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Guy (who used to play video games) wants books on the atrocities of the Crusades. The people had to search for their own food. That's why they became excellent trappers and good at archery. It was an atrocity. This is personal research.

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Two porn guys are escorted out of the building twice. Five more hours left of the day. They'll be back.

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Annoyed woman asks if there have been budget cuts because "the whole world is here and you are the only one at the reference desk." Sorry, four of our liberrians either retired or transferred.

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I want part of math. Which part? Gebra.

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Man wants to apply on the line for a British visa. He doesn't get the concept and wants me to do it for him.

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Woman wants to research local community. She wants to buy property there and thinks the railroad used to stop there. The real estate agent tells her she is wrong. She wants me to prove she is right. Second day in a row she asks about this.

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Dingbat asks me over and over and over times ten squared (and then some) for help cutting and pasting something into word.

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Help with MS Publisher.

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Remember I'm the only one at the desk. Guy comes up asking for a citation about a law that required automobiles to pull over and hide in the bushes when they approached a horse drawn carriage in traffic. He needed the material yesterday. He heard about the law on the History Channel. I eventrually found some related information! Yeah!

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More help with MS Publisher.

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Would you like me to order the book from another branch? No, I don't want to pay. You don't have to pay. Are you sure, I think it is a dollar.

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Yahoos I can't get in. Just me? No, the server is probably down. That means the problem is on their end, there is nothing I can do here to help you. Sorry. Just me?

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I wish I knew sign language. Well, actually today I learned the sign for "shut up." Two deaf teens, troublemakers to the extreme, always use their disability to their advantage. Today they sat down at 5:30, so I wrote on a piece of paper, your time is over at 6:00. At 7:30 I walked by and asked them to leave. There were two little girls who just arrived and wanted a turn. One of them gave me the "shut up" sign, and the other slapped me.

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I call the other branch and ask them to hold a book for a patron. I ask the patron to spell their last name and first initial. Why is it that the first initial question is so befuddling? I should just ask them what their first name is.

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I want The Spy by Norman Garbo. Here's the call number: F Gar. No, that's not what I saw in the computer. It said 385 something (i.e. the section about railroads). I go to Amazon and show her the details.

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The "how do I apply for a casino job" people came today- 4 individuals. They asked me ten times ten to the tenth questions, and then some. At one point I said, I can't tell you how to work through the application. You'll have to read through the directions. We provide the internet service, not the service of interpreting websites.

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I want to buy a ceramic figurine of the pope.

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I want a list of all the public and private schools in the area. And a list of job openings they offer.

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A guy with several earrings, eyebrow rings, nose rings, you name it rings asked for Book of Shadows. We don't have it, I can order it. He doesn't have a card, doesn't want one.

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She's ragging on me. I told her it isn't fair, her time is up. You don't get me, do you. You are clueless, you don't understand. She is ragging on me.

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Porn guy returns, what did I say...

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My mom wants to know if I can work here. I'm in a high school. (and friend says) I'm in a high school.

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Local support groups on the right to privacy - I can't find it in the catalog.

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Can I climb through the roped off construction area to use the copy machine?

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I argue some more about the time limit with the porn guy.

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Guy who watched the scene with the deaf guys: That was pretty funny. Real entertaining.

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I want a book with just words, lots and lots of words. A dictionary? No, just words, lots and lots of words.

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I can't find my friend Sam Smith on googles. He lives in New York City.

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My disc is lost, where is place?

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Hi, I'm reading the biography of Nelson Mandela and I was wondering... is he dead?

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I walked by the children's section and heard: look at daddy, sprawled out on the floor. That was freaky.

2 comments:

the stealthy librarian said...

"We provide the internet service, not the service of interpreting websites." That is classic. I am expected to provide that service all the time.

You had a doozy of a day, there. My sympathy. I can't believe the deaf kid hit you! I would think that would be grounds for calling the security guard to escort them out.

The Liberry aka Amy said...

I know it! SG made him apologize to me today. Whatever...

Like how that guy called me "Stephanie" today though? Ha ha.