Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Reasons Marian doesn't need to feel homesick

Note to readers: Marian works at HQ and feels quite homesick for all the madness. Here's today's events:

  • I want a phone book of city X (far far away) - just the unlisted numbers. I've seen it before. Well, here's the number for Santa and the Tooth Fairy, let me find Shrek.
  • Mr. Ebay guy who always requires about 500 personal reminders that his time is up is a little slow on the concept of saving a picture to a disc. Time and time again, I say, minimize the window, no, that is the little minus sign in the top corner, third from the end, open word or publisher, highlight it, go under edit, copy, paste. Go under file, hit save as, find the a:\ drive, that is the floppy, put the floppy in, . . . SO ANNOYING!
  • Guy who has never touched a computer before wants a free credit report. I show him the page that he needs to fill out. He fills out the parts (not the email, that's another hour of my time setting that up) and before he presses submit he just prints it, expecting the credit report to magically appear. I come over and try to "help" by reading: your time has expired, try signing in again on page one. Another instance of the beauty of timeout software, if we ever get it!
  • Large woman screams to her soon to be ex-boyfriend: you have no patience!
  • I want books in Spanish about how to make masks.
  • I want to find the will online. You won't be able to find that. You mean even a will of a dead person? Why? How about a living trust, can you find that?
  • I want the yellow pages of Panama City.
  • 12:01 [The summer reading raffle tickets were due at 12:00] Girl comes to the desk- did I win?
  • My hands are numb, I can't type. If you wanna die, go to the hospital. That will do it. Do you have that book by Robert Ringer called How to Win by Intimidation? I tell ya, he is smart. He tells you how people steal from you even when they say they aren't. Do you have anything by Michael Savage? Do you listen to him on the radio? He's a smart guy, he thinks liberalism is a mental disorder. Liberals are gonna ruin the country because they come across the border. I just got my card in the nick of time before it went bad. (What was it going to do, explode, rot?). Anyway, those are interesting and timely books. You know how the politics goes... They are not giving you guys enough money (RIGHT ON), they are taking the money away from the liberry, aren't they. We're being over run by aliens. I gotta get on the politican's ass, that's why I had a stroke.
  • My husband is incarcerated in another state, and I need his CDC number. He's been in jail forever.
  • Oh it is called spam, you say?
  • Our LII who promoted to LIII's theory: Call the boys gentleman and maybe they will act the part!
And stay tuned for the 6-8pm madness. Marian, be thankful you aren't here!


Marian The said...

eBay guy! With the sailboat shirt!

Nope, still homesick.

The Liberry aka Amy said...

I keep looking for eBay guy on that sex offender database, but nothing yet. I know I'll find him someday, don't ya think?