Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Challenging Retro Day

No internets, no "pudders," and plenty frustrated patrons. A recipe for disaster AND quiet. Quite retro because I usually take notes to blog by sending them to lovetheliberry@gmail.com. Today I have scraps of paper that read---

  • Marian's Eclectic Movie Man friend wants VHS about Martin Luther, not King. Reformation guy.
  • I sneeze; audience woman says God bless, I say thanks, she says oh, I know how it is.
  • Woman is upset about ADA or something and says she will sue us.
  • Guy insists on trying the internet and his friend says, it won't come up bro. He will believe his friend, not me. Such is life.
  • Sub liberrian @ neighbor branch calls to ask if I know the status of the computer repair. Yes, Amy is an insider who knows all! Then she tells me she is trying to play tiddly winks and should have brought her cribbage board. Good times in the liberry... for sure.
  • Then our phones go down... that's QUIET.
  • Woman who pushes an empty wheelchair around picks it up and slams/bounces it twice for no reason. Stay away from her.
  • Sub here tells me over and over that someone was "accosted" last night after we closed. Accosted, not attacked or raped. She whips the newspaper clipping from her pocket and has me read it. She is worried about where we park and thinks people will follow us to our cars. I assure her the security guard has it all under control. Then he comes. She tells him the whole accosted story. Oh well, gives her something to talk about.
  • Man from Congo's response to no computers today: Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, eh ... ha ha ha... If they could only be more like him.
  • The internets are down. Any particular reason? All of 'em? You serious? Can I just listen to music?
  • Without a catalog, we wing it with a little Dewey guide. But a question about lighthouses throws me.
  • Request for feng shui in Vietnamese language.
  • (Hours later) ... Request for feng shui in English on VHS and audio tape.
  • Man who thinks he has a shoe patent wants the contact info for Dexter company.
  • Guy wants directions to state prison (to find his way home?).
  • Napoleon Dynamite look alike guy is concerned about the lack of internet access. Furrowed brow. The local network only? Then starts asking about the timeout software- so about the console... Then he goes and looks at a stack of health books for hours... the 614 - 616's. I don't want to know what his ailment might be.
  • To do list: toothpaste, Birdseed (one bag), Library.
  • Pushy woman with no card wants to rent Parenthood by Proxy by Dr. Laura. A little ironic, don't ya think?
  • Mr. Seeeee Ya Later: You're back, finally. I miss you the other day (huge frown; great, I didn't know he was a fan). So, do you have a bandaid? (His fingers are always bleeding, probably because he destroys pens). I wanna know for my list, is Afghanistan the bad guys, the enemy? So the internets are down, copy machine too?
  • Mr. Indian Book guy: "reads" sign We do not allow telephones in the library. Then tells me hi sweety, I like your hair. I think he is taking lessons from Mr. Kissy Kissy Hotcake.

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