O Refgrunt, How I Have Missed You

Here are some flyers to put out, and do you know any local newspapers that would publish this for free?

Foods of the Americas by Fernando Divina
--Can I help you with anything else?
Um, well, um, I just need to get my head together right now and um
--Sure, just come back when you’re ready.

PHONE: I need a book called The Five Love Languages but I don’t know who it’s by.
[while looking for this I am horrified to find something called “The Surrendered Single”]

Bait and Switch by Barbara Ehrenreich

I can’t click into the box to put in my PIN.
--You have to click the button, not the scroll thingy.

Biographical info on Phoolan Devi, the Bandit Queen

“Happy New Year! I haven’t been here since December.”

Liberry guy says: the internet is only giving me 57 minutes instead of 60.
--Too bad.

PHONE: Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama

MAX says: can I use the phone? It’s not an emergency but it’s important.
--Sorry, not a service we provide.

Phone call quick-draw: I lose.

Inner Harbor by Nora Roberts: “You have all of her other hundred and fifty thousand books but not that one.”
--We only have the large print availa-
That’s what I want—old people can’t see very well.

PHONE: One of our subs at another branch needs an obituary consultation for someone in Colorado.

What’s a PIN number?

How do I log on?

Can I come back at 1:00 and get back on the computer?

That copier’s broken, do you have another one?
--It’s not broken, it’s just turned off. [READ THE DAMN SIGN AND IT WILL TELL YOU THIS]

Liberry guy asks Tara: Do you have a book on how to fly a rocketship?

Someone calls for another librarian off the desk, and it takes me five tries to transfer the call!

What do you need to do to log on to a computer?

Can’t log on.

What kind of internet connection do we have here?

Still can’t log on—turns out PIN is too long.