Here are some flyers to put out, and do you know any local newspapers that would publish this for free?
Foods of the Americas by Fernando Divina
--Can I help you with anything else?
Um, well, um, I just need to get my head together right now and um
--Sure, just come back when you’re ready.
PHONE: I need a book called The Five Love Languages but I don’t know who it’s by.
[while looking for this I am horrified to find something called “The Surrendered Single”]
Bait and Switch by Barbara Ehrenreich
I can’t click into the box to put in my PIN.
--You have to click the button, not the scroll thingy.
Biographical info on Phoolan Devi, the Bandit Queen
“Happy New Year! I haven’t been here since December.”
Liberry guy says: the internet is only giving me 57 minutes instead of 60.
PHONE: Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama
MAX says: can I use the phone? It’s not an emergency but it’s important.
--Sorry, not a service we provide.
Phone call quick-draw: I lose.
Inner Harbor by Nora Roberts: “You have all of her other hundred and fifty thousand books but not that one.”
--We only have the large print availa-
That’s what I want—old people can’t see very well.
PHONE: One of our subs at another branch needs an obituary consultation for someone in Colorado.
What’s a PIN number?
How do I log on?
Can I come back at 1:00 and get back on the computer?
That copier’s broken, do you have another one?
--It’s not broken, it’s just turned off. [READ THE DAMN SIGN AND IT WILL TELL YOU THIS]
Liberry guy asks Tara: Do you have a book on how to fly a rocketship?
Someone calls for another librarian off the desk, and it takes me five tries to transfer the call!
What do you need to do to log on to a computer?
Can’t log on.
What kind of internet connection do we have here?
Still can’t log on—turns out PIN is too long.