Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Today, the back room got a call on the main library phone:

Guy: Could someone get me some more toilet paper?

Library worker: ...are you in the bathroom here?

Guy: Yep. On my cell phone.

H is for...

Girls: Where is the H section?

Me: The H...? Um, what are you looking for exactly?

Girls: Hamsters.

How to hack into a liberrian's account

Monday, March 13, 2006



Tuesday, March 07, 2006

O Refgrunt, How I Have Missed You

Here are some flyers to put out, and do you know any local newspapers that would publish this for free?

Foods of the Americas by Fernando Divina
--Can I help you with anything else?
Um, well, um, I just need to get my head together right now and um
--Sure, just come back when you’re ready.

PHONE: I need a book called The Five Love Languages but I don’t know who it’s by.
[while looking for this I am horrified to find something called “The Surrendered Single”]

Bait and Switch by Barbara Ehrenreich

I can’t click into the box to put in my PIN.
--You have to click the button, not the scroll thingy.

Biographical info on Phoolan Devi, the Bandit Queen

“Happy New Year! I haven’t been here since December.”

Liberry guy says: the internet is only giving me 57 minutes instead of 60.
--Too bad.

PHONE: Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama

MAX says: can I use the phone? It’s not an emergency but it’s important.
--Sorry, not a service we provide.

Phone call quick-draw: I lose.

Inner Harbor by Nora Roberts: “You have all of her other hundred and fifty thousand books but not that one.”
--We only have the large print availa-
That’s what I want—old people can’t see very well.

PHONE: One of our subs at another branch needs an obituary consultation for someone in Colorado.

What’s a PIN number?

How do I log on?

Can I come back at 1:00 and get back on the computer?

That copier’s broken, do you have another one?
--It’s not broken, it’s just turned off. [READ THE DAMN SIGN AND IT WILL TELL YOU THIS]

Liberry guy asks Tara: Do you have a book on how to fly a rocketship?

Someone calls for another librarian off the desk, and it takes me five tries to transfer the call!

What do you need to do to log on to a computer?

Can’t log on.

What kind of internet connection do we have here?

Still can’t log on—turns out PIN is too long.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Liberry Customer I've Seen in the 629s

While I was in a nice long line @ the drugstore today, I was entertained by a typical do-it-yourself-er customer I've seen in the 629s. The yell phone conversation when like this-

Can you hear me? Yello? That's better. What's up my son...
You what? Don't tell me you crashed the new truck... oh, ... good... All you need to do is pour some gasoline into the carburetor. Just a little, not from the can. Just put it in a little container and pour it right into the carburetor. But be real careful. Then try to fire her up and she if she starts.

(I love it when people refer to their cars as shes).

... You know what, you better have a fire extinguisher handy when you are working on the carburetor. Yeah, yeah, I love you too dude.


Why doesn't the dude wait unitl Daddy comes home if a fire extinguisher is going to be involved!

Yay for the Irish

Rules for Dublin's liberry in 1917.

No person shall be admitted who is in a state of intoxication, or is uncleanly in person or attire; nor shall any audible conversation be permitted in the Rooms.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Edit the signage-

Due to theft of liberry materials, this door to remain locked.


This door to remain locked.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Totally rude, but at least we can laugh about it-

When I used to come home from college, I'd go to the very small local liberry to check my email. Once my sister and I were the only ones in the branch, just typing (not banging) 100+ wpm, and the older woman working there made little signs and taped them to our screens: please do not type so loud! or please strike the keys softly!... something to that effect!


Recently removed from a branch:

"If you are going to fight, take it outside!"

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Post #1300

Happy Belated Birthday Love the Liberry blog!

Happy Peppy

Today's installation of the timeout software was non-eventful. The only memorable customer interaction I had was with this happy peppy woman who asked if we have scanners.

I said, no, it's not a service we provide.

She said, oh, cuz if you did, I wouldn't know how to work it. Ha ha!