Thursday, December 28, 2006

The Straight Story

The List Guy can't find one of the books he has checked out and wants to pay for it.

Me: Why don't you wait a little while and see if you find it?

LG: No, I gave it to the witches' coven at Jack in the Box in exchange for a meal or they wouldn't let me come in there any more.

Me: Wow, I guess you'd better pay for it then.

LG: Actually my brother Dave took it for a hundred thousand dollars. But he's president now. He was elected. We both were. We're Big Dave and Big Steve. [LG's name isn't Steve]

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Friday, December 15, 2006

Guide Spiders Only

I was telling Helen about the guy who brought in a jar of spiders,
and she said
"Did you ask him if they were service animals?"

Does that count as a reference question?

A guy came in the other day and asked if he could sit down and rest and read something. I said "sure," so he sat and leafed through the encyclopedia and twitched around for a while, then came up to the desk and asked, "Miss, do you know if there's a devil in this town?"

Monday, December 04, 2006

That may not be a service we provide

List Guy AKA "Gary Paulsen" comes up to the desk:

"Is Helen here today, or are you going to service me?"

And a Very Happy New Year

One of our regulars (a very tiny, outdoorsy-looking lady probably in her 50s) came up to me just now:

Her: I just sent a letter to Santa, wishing him a peaceful journey. I hope he comes to my house last.

Me:
Oh? Why’s that?

Her: I want to share a bowl with him, and give him some bud to take home.

Me:
I bet he’ll appreciate that.

Her: It’s a wonderful thing!


This same lady was telling me earlier how she organized a bunch of homeless kids in SF in the 80s to protest unsafe conditions in shelters.

“I said, you can’t just complain about it, you have to do something! And they looked at me like I was from Mars, but actually I’m just from the sixties.”