Saturday, August 30, 2008

Guy about 20 comments...

I've read every book that is older than five years old in this building.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Another Spike

Today a man about 30 came to the desk wearing ski goggles on his forehead (just like Spike in Notting Hill). He was asking about chemicals, and I asked him did he mean chemistry? No, it was more like chemicals you might find in medicines.

Just a guess, but he was probably hoping to make some drugs.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Juv section today

I was in the juv section almost all day today. One girl about 10 years old asked me if we had a certain book. We didn't have it, but I offered to order it for her. She said, don't you have every book in the world? This place is so big, it looks like it!

Really old man

wheels up to the desk and asks for a 1040 for the tax year 1907. After a pause, he says he means a 1040 from 2007!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Useful advice from a friendly patron

1. Don't have a woman for your best friend.

2. If you do, don't let her come over when your husband or boyfriend is home, and don't let her look over your shoulder when you put in your bank code.

3. Don't let your man know what you got.

4. To save money, buy a big jar of beans and have that every day, except Sunday, when you can have something special.

5. You can get some money of your own by having a job that your husband doesn't know about, as long as you get home before he does.

6. Don't let your family know what you got.

Impossible Reference Question of the Day

A guy needs to get a new birth certificate, but he can't get one unless he knows his mother's middle name. Which he forgot.
He thinks she is probably still alive, but they haven't been in contact for years.

We try searching all over the genealogy database, but no joy.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


I found this book, Landing on the Right Side of Your Ass, mixed in with some juv books I was shelving.

Always love computer questions...

What does at least seven characters mean?

Not a service we provide

A woman called in wondering how she could remove her name from the Internet.

Hot Wheels

A guy called in to ask about the headquarters of Hot Wheels Inc. It took me a while to find it. While I was looking he said, hi I'm Matt and I like to collect.

Girl about 9 said more than once...

I'm a Mexican and I don't even speak Spanish!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Highlights from my first day back from vacation...

Older Woman: Why are the fines so high? (books are .25/day). I bet if Frank were here, he would know the answer.... why can we only check books out for 3 weeks? I've been away from the liberry for a while, but 3 weeks is ridiculous. Can you read 3 books in 3 days?


Boy about 12: Can we sharpen paper?


Then AquaRide shows up... they drive it into the reference office!


Man: If I were to give my extra time on the Internet to someone else, and they downloaded child porn or researched how to make a bomb, the government would know it was my card so they would know it was me.

I explain to him that we don't track anything, and he said, oh yes, the government does track everything. Every phone call. Everything.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

or so he says

Today Vet Guy flipped his liberry card to my colleague and said, you can have this. I'm leaving town tomorrow.

But will he really leave? He still has a book checked out and fines.

Time will tell.

Yes, why don't you?

A bunch of kids are clustering around a computer and I tell them they have to leave because only two people can be on at a time.
So immediately they move to another computer, and look on with the two guys there.

Me: What did I just tell you?
One kid: But he's my brother!
Me: It doesn't matter WHO he is, you can't have more than two at the computer.
Kid: But there's only two of us here!
Me: Um, hi. There are three of you.
Kid: Oh, fine. (To other kids) Let's just go read a book.

Yes Mom, anything you say, Mom.

Kid (about six): Mama!!!

Mom: Brooklyn, please come here.

Kid: No, YOU come here!! MAMA! MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!

Okay. (comes over) Come on, get off of the computer. We're going to go get your outfit.


Mom: Okay, just a few minutes then.

(they are still there when I leave the desk)

Monday, August 04, 2008

A Day @ the Juv Desk...

  • Do you have a calculator?
  • Are these all the DVDs you have?
  • A Mother: I have a list of books from my kid's kindergarten teacher.
    • Me: Which ones do you want? Mother: All of them.
  • Do you have the Batman movie? Do you have Bourne Ultimatum? What about Christ the Road to Cana?
  • I'm lookin for my wife and daughter. A pregnant woman and a gorgeous little girl. Seen them?
  • I'm registered with another county. Is it ok to use this card with this county? I don't want to take the time to register.
  • Do you have crayons?
  • I want to put a movie on hold. How much are the dult ones?
  • Can I have a question... does my card from City X work in this county?
  • Do you have that movie called Bones?
  • Can you help my mom play cards on the computer?
  • Do you have Spongebob movies?
  • (Girl with about 10 DVDs): I watch 'em all in a row in a day.
  • I wanna use the Internet. Can I use this card from City X?
  • You guys have a great liberry here. Who knows, maybe we'll move here.
  • Um, I've like never been here before. Do you have a big comfy couch where I could lay down? [not a service we provide]
  • Girl with piles of audiobooks wants me to find the books to go with them.
  • Local author calls and wants to set up a program.
  • Got a paperclip by any chance? I just need one.
  • Do you have Stargate Continuum and do I have any outstanding balance?
  • 10 year old girl looking for Nancy Drew...
  • Do you have vol. 1 of The Saint?
  • I'm going on vacation soon; do you have Pretty Little Liars?
  • I need to know where Union Bank and Wells Fargo Banks are. (While I'm looking it up, she blabs on her phone-- "yeah, I just got off the Internet...")
  • Where can I return these books?
  • I want to play games on these computers.
  • List of Caldecott books.
  • No volume on the AWE stations.
  • Books by Bruce D. Perry.
    • Me: I see Bruce Duncan Perry in the catalog. Is that him?
    • Woman: No, Bruce D. Perry.
    • Me: D as in Dog?
    • Woman: Yes.
  • Where's the door?
  • Origami books
  • Caller: I'd like the fax number for the Israeli Embassy in Washington DC.
  • Teen wants Little Miss Spider.
  • Kid wants books on religion, any.
  • Girl fighting with her mom:
    • Mom: Say it louder, why don't you?
    • Girl (yelling): Why are you being an asshole?
    • Mom: You better find someone else to type your stuff for you.
  • Rumplestiltskin
  • Woman picks up a Dewey Decimal System bookmark and reads it. Then she asks, "Dewey Decimal System, what is that?" I describe it to her and she returns the bookmark to me and tells me she doesn't need it.
  • Where's my mommy?
  • Eloise movie.
  • Do you have Cookie magazine?
  • Do you have the unemployment application?
  • Tech guy comes to research double booking on the reservation software.
  • Woman asks if Kids Liberrian still works here. (No, she retired).
  • Do you have Spongebob movies?
  • Do you have Kidz Bop CD's?

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Fire Alarm

Yesterday the fire alarm went off because something in the kitchen was burning. (I think Swedish Chef was there). It was interesting to see what happened when it went off-- first everyone looked at eachother. Then some people left the liberry while others just continued their business.

One woman for me was asking for summer reading bags for her kids. People at the circ desk just started yelling their problems at Kelsey, a Tech I (which is usual behavior).

The problem is, we need a training on what we need to do when the alarm goes off.


Kelsey coments, "Have you ever heard the fire alarm? It's painful. The silencer only silenced part of it so it eventually turned into a half-assed alarm haha."

We close @ 5

This guy asks me why we close at 5. I say we are open until 8 M-Th, and on F, Sat, & Sun we close at 5.

Then he says can I have the key?

The key to what?

The building, so I can spend the night in here.

Kid asking for a DVD

Do you have the DVD of Holy Bean?

I type in Holy Bean and nothing comes up.

He says, I think it is spelled Holey Bean.

I try that, and find nothing. He said he just returned it. I quickly look @ his record and was lucky that it wasn't checked in yet. The name of the movie is Whole Bean!