Thursday, November 27, 2008

from Michael

Two older gentleman just approached the ref desk, and my colleage who doesn't look like June Lockhart greeted them "how may we help you gentlemen?!"

They exchanged pleasantries, and one asked "what's a nice girl like you doing in a joint like this?"

SO. Funny!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Yet another service we don't provide

Little girl: Do you have some glitter? That I can borrow and bring it back next week?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Cooties?

A lady spelling a call number for me over the phone: "It's 221 BIB, as in Boy-Ick-Boy."

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I Won!

Today a man was excited that he won $1000 + a free computer because he was the zillionth person on a particular website!

Why AOL Sucks, Part Eleventy-Million

I was in a lady's AOL account today so she could print something, and this is what it looked like:

Inbox: 2184 messages
Spam: 39 messages

Monday, November 17, 2008

A Rose By Any Other Name

A woman called this afternoon and asked for some slang terms for attorneys/lawyers.

The following entry, from 'The Thesaurus of slang' was the answer I gave her:

"Attorney n. man's mouth, mouthpiece, shyster, ambulance chaser, legal eagle, legal beagle, beagle, beak, fixer, lip, patch, the L.A., tongue, pleader, pettifogger, Philadelphia lawyer, squeal, bomber (divorce), front, mugger, spieler, spouter, tangle jaw, warble, springer, ghost (writes briefs), D.A. cutter (prosecutor)"

In which a husband is not that helpful

Lady: Can you tell me where to find the business books?

Me: Sure, what kind of thing are you looking for?

Lady: Well, my husband was here yesterday and he saw a book he wanted, but he didn't have his library card so he couldn't check it out. So he sent me to get it for him.

Me: Okay, what book was it?

Lady: Well, he didn't tell me the title or author.

Me: Then how are you supposed to know what book to get?

Lady: I don't know, it's like he thinks I have God's mind powers or something!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

That will really solve the problem

An old man was upset that he had to wait an hour for the Internet. He said, that is really poor customer service. I'm going to go complain at the customer service desk. He came back a few minutes later and told me (as well as the crowd) that all they gave him at the desk was a bunch of lip (sure). And he told me that the staff and the hours deserve to be cut.

You Gotta Fight For your Right to Refgrunt

Sunday, 1-3 PM. Busy!

--Wants to be on the waiting list for DVDs of Mamma Mia (#175) and Step Brother (#134), and “the book from that TV show about blood, True Blood or something?”

-- Is Kill Bill based on a book?

--Where are the Arabic books?

--Phone: Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems and Change Your Mind, Change Your Life by Daniel Amen

--A lady says “I want to request Hancock (#288) and Tropic Thunder (#201) plus a DVD with “real dirt” on Watergate. Also Judge Judy’s Greatest. Find it! I watch her every day! (sorry, we don’t have it, just her books.) Oh no! No pick-me-up today? Also, does KL still work here? (No, she retired.) Oh, I had so much fun with her!”

--Looking for Oct. 30 newspaper from nearby city

--Jobs section of the paper, and books on refrigeration

--Gospel of Philip

--Swamps and metals in Iraq

--Cashflow notes

--Books based on horror movies or soap operas

--Headphones don’t work

--How to copy and paste

--Books on plumbing

--Can I switch computers with the person on #5? I want to be next to my daughter. (You can ask them when they come…)

--Can’t find One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. “I checked everywhere.” We have 3 copies on shelf.

--Consumer info on GPS devices

--Reset PIN

--Person on #5 turned out to be her son. So that worked out.

--Is the first Twilight book in? I want to reread it before I see the movie. (HAHAHAHA. Almost 450 holds on about 150 copies.)

--Do you mind if I steal some of this scratch paper?

--Can I order a book here? (Yes!) Okay, Twilight on the Line: Underworlds and Politics at the U.S.-Mexico Border. (no holds on that one)

--Why doesn’t the back button work?

--Why can’t I download Yahoo Messenger on my home computer? (I don’t know.)

--Where can I donate a queen-sized mattress?

--Buffy Season 8 comic book

--Latest Consumer Reports

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Every other person

Every other person yesterday wanted to order Stephenie Meyer's books. Actually, they thought those books would be on the shelf.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Scary

Today a sweaty man in his 50s undid his belt, unbuttoned the button, and unzipped his pants at the reference desk. He proceeded to pull out a little golf pencil from his pocket. He returned the pencil to the basket, then zipped back up, buttoned, and fastened the belt and walked away.

(I came to the desk as he was undoing his pants). I looked at my colleague and she just said how are you? because she didn't know what else to say.

Little girl about 3 was wearing...

a bathing suit, ballet slippers, and a hooded sweatshirt!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

That's a start

Guy, about age 18: Excusez-moi, do you have any books for learning languages?

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

You want me to spell WHAT?!

So... two days ago I got a telephone call from a patron wanting to know how to spell "derogatory".

Then, i'm relating the tale to Marian this afternoon and she remarks that the same person (male with a heavy accent) asked her to spell "reckless" this afternoon.

Well, this evening he called for the third time for the spelling of "disciple".

I'm really curious to know what motivates these requests, but will leave it to our fair readers to come to their own (tawdry/sinister/evangelical) conclusions!