Saturday, December 27, 2008

Holiday Liberry Song

Language in Action by Hayakawa

As I was weeding last week, I found Language in Action by Hayakawa. In it was an inscription from 1943--

for Dorothy because she slings it so beautifully.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Liberrians Rock

One man walked by the desk today and told me that he hasn't had a TV in 11 years. Then he said, "you guys are phenomenal. I really mean it!"

Merry Christmas to you, sir!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Type two letters

Man comes to the desk: I'd like you to type two letters for me.

I'm thinking... he wants to dictate me two letters as if I am a secretary? . . . But no, he just wanted me to type the letters l and m in monotype corsiva and print it out.

No problem! I can type two letters for you.

Weeded-- the book lived up to its title

The Book Nobody Read: Chasing the Revolutions of Nicolaus Copernicus.


I'd like to order a CD, is that the little disc thing?

Weeding from the dusty list

The book entitled Sweetie Pie: The Richard Simmons Private Collection of Dazzling Deserts was missing. Someone thought it was just a dazzling book and kept it.

Volunteer with the pigtails

"I don't know why I come here... I have other things to do. Well, wait a minute, I really enjoy it here!"

Thursday, December 18, 2008

incredibly awkward

Marian, Kelsey, and Michael know who I am talking about when I say the man with the glass eye (at least that's what I think) who sits in the teen area. I like to avoid him. Anyway, today he said to me Hello Amy. You've got one of those faces that I love to see.


My son got a DUI. Do you have the certificate that says he went to the class?


Customer asking for Handbook to higher consciousness / by Ken Keyes, Jr. told me three times that the first word of the title is THE, t-h-e.

A biography I weeded had the following inscription:

person's name, address, & phone

If I lose this book please read it on the date you found it, then please call
me. With all God's love,

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Rubber Stamps

I love rubber stamps. I used to work at a rubber stamp store. So, I was elated when Marian found these stamps in the ref. desk drawers. Here they are:

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


While weeding today, I found the title page for "How To Turn Your Ex-Boyfriend Into a Toad & Other Spells" in the following book: "Genderspeak : Men, Women, and the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense : Powerful Techniques for Improving Communication and Disarming Verbal Attacks".

Hmm... hope it worked out!

Highlights from the past week

Do you have the repair manual for a John Deere tractor?

Do you have books on how to wash a car?

Man comes to the desk-- I'm supposed to be quiet here, huh.

Kid tells his mom (who is on the 15 min computer) that he has to go potty, over and over and over. The mother does nothing. I was ready for an accident.

Homeless woman asks where she can go to get a free lunch. An hour later, a man asks for the book Free Lunch.

Woman says under her breath-- I hope you have a doctor present. Why? I don't know.

Where can I buy size 15 women's shoes?

Tuesday, December 09, 2008


Customer: Do you have Ancient Greece for Dummies?


Today I had to call a customer. Her voicemail went like this:

Hello, this is Carol. I'm making some changes in my life. ... And if I don't call you back, you are one of them.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Very Annoying Guy

The very annoying guy (who asked me to write down "tv series") wanted me to order about 100 DVDs for him. I asked him if he knew how to use the catalog and he said yes, but I am in a hurry and I have to catch the bus. I could hardly read his writing-- it was like a first grader.

As he was standing @ the desk waiting for me to order the DVDs, a baby was crying and saying NO NO NO. After each NO he screamed YES. So obnoxious!

Then he asked me to write down "cartoon tv series" on a piece of paper so he would know what to look for next.


Caller: Is it putting God before the hos or put the hos before God?

So I googled putting God before horse and found that he meant putting the cart before the horse!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Today's Highlights

  • Did you get new carpet? No. Did you have the carpet cleaned? Possibly. Is the library going to celebrate Christmas this year?
  • Where do I go to pick up the book? See those shelves by the checkout desk? Oh, so I don't need to talk to the ladies?
  • Ya know that Virginia thing & Santa Claus? Which newspaper was it, and who was Virginia?

Old-Skool @ Your Library

First, someone had the theme to A Summer Place as their ringtone.

Then, a lady came up to the desk and asked if we had any carbon paper she could use.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Today's Refgrunt


my son only likes batman movies

spell heinous as in a crime

i'm just half asleep, don't mind me; looking for grandfather's death
; he died in 1923 in illinois

obit search-- i don't know the maiden name, i don't know when she died

Movie Guy: showdown-- just returned it -- we don't have it -- uncataloged

shelf check-- not found

Movie Guy: teenage mutant ninja turtles- volumes 2-6
i don't see the fastforward one here, are you sure?
samurai jack
all cartoon series
jonny quest-- "new one looks way differenter"
danny phantom nick series
can you write down "tv series" on a piece of paper so i know what i am looking for?

a book that like shows you how to make paper airplanes out of paper

sweden and switzerland

butterflies: books, music, videos, and fine art


I need your love.... is that true on CDB
Thank you sweetheart

computer catalog?

how do i get on the internet, it's been 2 years since I've been here

can't remember PIN... change your name? yes, i got married. congratulations???

can i print

still got those 15 minute dealies on the computer?

caps lock reservation

file for unemployment

weed a few ATs

can't log on

doesn't have card, doesn't know pin

filing for unemployment

how long do you hold the reservation

are these first come first serve?

consumer reports

move the mouse to find when it starts

today's paper

we can't get into these computers?

comp cut me off in the middle of my unemployment application

armando jorge-- any others? 18 books, she only found one

golf pencil

directions-- google maps

can't get on computer

just go to the yellow screen?

never used these computers, what do i need to do

don't have the betty crocker cookbook
where is it, why

where's the bathroom

if i need to use one of your computers
i don't have a lib card
"my stupid comp took a crap today"

this is pathetic you know, i have to wait 2 hours just to use the computer

ordered at least 10 books for caller-- she kept saying i have "one or two more"

famous customer names-- person in twilight and famous comedian; the famous comedian said "she gets paid for her sense of humor, i get punished for mine"

could you just write there (in her son's record) "his father is an asshole"

can't find item on holdshelf (it was there, alphabetically, right where it should be)

civil war movie interesting for a 10 year old
totally yawning, i'm only finding documentaries
"and the revolutionary war is the same, right?"

doesn't want card to get on the computer

how to print on blackboard

cancel my reservation


10 minute rule

cancel-- supposed to be home already

resumes-- up to date book

how to get the 15 min computer

forgot my code

monk season 1

alt F4

where do you guys have your movies

Juan Soldado 972.23 VAN

check out this book but i don't have my card

move from floppy to CD

how come all the open computers

book on industrialization

why can't i get on this computer
oh, the receipt says #13, not #6. sorry

ordered a book, where do i pick it up?

could i borrow your stapler real quick please

could you close your screen to release the record?

hi how are you

imaginary men by banerjee

hello, um. let me go get the book (leaves & comes back)
cirque du freak series
#1 & 2

caller @ home on computer
landscape design
how to
i repeated the liberry's website 4 times... "c as in county, l as in library dot org. g as in great"

movies on secret societies-- illuminati / freemasons

is there any like kid books on harriet tubman?

order stop walking on eggshells. 7 people waiting for 1 book.

is there any way i can search the other libraries out of this system? i know
at library x i can search your catalog.


how can i use the computer
we are booked, but you can wait for a 15 minute terminal over there

"where are your books on politics? i'm just walking around"

true crime section?

long winded customer tells me about some mint condition autographed graphic novel book was stolen from them; then she tells me about harry potter # 6 & 7

cussler: arctic drift

6th grader is looking for hahn stepping on the cracks
then an express internet opens up, she doesn't want the book anymore

no reservation can be made
can i get on a computer?

online customer finds book that was claims returned; very embarrassed; what to do now?

locked my computer, can't remember the password

is #20 available?

can i call my mom to tell her to pick me up? (t-1 minute before closing)