REFGRUNT! On a Sunday afternoon.

-- What is the Summer Reading theme this year?

-- How to get on the computer, and how to get a library card

-- Class schedule for local community college

--DVD of Romeo and Juliet, “both the new one and the old one.”

--Where can I return DVDs, and where are your other DVDs?

--PLEASE DON’T RUN, THANK YOU!

--Woman wants The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett (for her son)

-- Can’t find The Falklands Crisis by Peter Calvert—that’s because it’s at another branch. Should I order it? No.

--Kid: EXCUSE ME IS IT OKAY IF I BORROW ONE OF YOUR PENCILS

-- Can I download Yahoo Messenger on this computer?

--By any chance would you possibly have some scratch paper?

--Huge drama of getting all the kids to be showing their internet permission stickers

-- Can you cancel my reservation? I have to go home.

--PLEASE DON’T RUN, THANK YOU!

--Scratch paper guy needs help reading his reservation slip

--Are there any computers available sooner?

--What is that beeping?

--Where would I find B Douglas?

--Needs a YA book on an event in American history post-1900 (surprisingly hard to find, but we ended up with Uprising, by Margaret Peterson Haddix, about the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire)

--How do I know if a computer is available?

--Do you have a bathroom, and are there any tables available for studying?

-- Do you HAVE to have a library card to get on the computer? Yes.

--Books of monologues

--Do you have, like, “Morse Code for Dummies”?

--PLEASE DON’T RUN, THANK YOU!

--Needs card looked up and internet reservations explained, at length.

--Deaf guy left the books he was reading in the library yesterday—we eventually find them after much pantomime and writing things down.

--Can’t print class schedule—crashes the browser when we try. Paste to Word, works fine.

--Helping lady on phone figure out the downloadable audiobooks: “I need a 4-year-old to come help me do this!” This goes on for approximately NINE THOUSAND HOURS. Eventually I refer her to HQ.

--HEY YOU GUYS, NO RUNNING!!

--Hiya, can I borrow a pencil? Thanks. I’ll bring it back.

--Call from another branch: some lady is on the phone who can't get the downloadable audiobooks to work. I WONDER WHO THAT IS.

--Can you please turn down your music? Times approx. 500.