Classic

Today I was working @ the ref desk and a man came by and asked, "I can't log on to the computer. It asked me to put my liberry card number in and I did, but nothing is happening." So I said, let me take a look. He literally put his library card IN the computer's disc drive. I had to go get the tweezers to pull it out!

Translate this one

It took me a while to understand that the kid looking for hamoo-head sheeks wanted books on Hammerhead Sharks.

AWE Machines

I don't work in the children's area very often, but every time I do, I get at least one question about the AWE machines. Every parent either wants to rent the disc with the program or buy the entire computer.

So popular!

Are you listening to me?

I worked the kids desk the other day and one grandma came to the desk looking for "Shirley Temple movies on tape." I asked her if she meant VHS and said yes. So I sift through the catalog's long list of movies with Shirley Temple in them, and most of them were VHS (which was good, right?) I take her over to the VHS tapes and she says, I am looking for DVDs.

RUDE man

So first he asks me if we have a scanner. I honestly answer that we don't have one. He tells me that I am lying to him and that he doesn't believe me.

So then he goes to Sharon and says, you have a scanner in this building, don't you? She answers the same way I did and adds that we don't even have one for staff.

An hour later when his time is up on the computer he said, I'm done with it. And I think I feel like I am going to take a shower.

(This was the first day the computers were refreshed and the cleanest they could ever be right out of the box). Can't please everyone!

Inscription

In Grimes' My Fine Feathered Friend:

Jack, did I already give you this one? Read it again!

--Jerry

Inscription

In Chicken soup for the gardener's soul:

to Janet, Austin, & James' godmother-- just a little something for you. Enjoy you little gardener you. We love you very much.

--The Smiths

Online Reference Question

Uh oh. I have a very overdue library book. Is there still an amnesty day at
my local library?

Note @ the ref desk

I found a note @ the ref desk from a customer that said LOOK UP! BE HERE NOW!

Can I help you?

Customer: Yes, can I have $20?

Complaint

I was in the kids section the other day and received the following complaint:

The faucet in the women's bathroom won't turn off and the men's bathroom has @#*^ all over!

Appropriate Title

Do you have God help me! This stress is driving me crazy. by Popcak, Gregory K.

Refgrunt- 12:00 - 3:00; a rainy day

Where is YA section?

What is the address of this liberry?

taxforms, previous years: 2001 - 2007, state and federal including the tax tables

Attributes of God, Faithfulness of God

Cast of Characters by Max Lucado

internet cards etc

customer watches me check all the juv internet cards and says "this is like babysitting" yep it is

blue books

books from local colleges

if i printed one page....

screen flipped on the side-- kids love to do that!

forgot my lib card

car repair books

spanish language cdbs

(not even 1:00 yet)

cancel reservation

White Tiger 52 people waiting!

Beckett's baseball book

man looks at reservation receipt and says I got cheated, thank God his girlfriend says no you
didn't

grouchy woman wants to know where the genealogy section is

you have no express computers i take it

familiar voice asking are you married to some poor woman (I was the poor woman last year).

turn your music down please

art project-- monet

what are those computers up there? catalog

printing

books on moneymaking, oh i mean small business

carpentry books

magnifying glass-- is that the only one you have?

older woman: "I believe in liberries"

genealogy lady wants to know where copy machine is; nicer mood now that she found something

charmed 6th season

don't have a card with the county

yell phone conversation: actually i think you are breakin the law... no.... no...sold my business licence, bam... no, they don't talk to you, and that's how it is. like walmart, yep. use any line you want (homeless, etc). business referral and we had these houses, i could word it that way, i could word it like homeless people, gotta change my speel, mexican and chinese, 60% men is like... because so I quit...do the laundry and all that, and they are doin shopping. either they are chinese or...yep, yep, or at least partner, i'm workin... yep...

ME: keep your voice down, oh sorry, i'm in a liberry (and yes, he did say LIBERRY)!

i can go there because i have 5 minutes more right

since there's no line. . . The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

can't use your fathers card

man strolls by with an open umbrella

i don't know my pin number, did they give you a pin number

opium-- name of black tar

order 3 books

rutledge vietnam

bank website-- I can't print my statement.-- me: it says try again later

can we chat thru hotmail?

reset the pin

art project

nothing better than go to the library today, parking lot is packed, parked across the street

yellow pages

Customer asked Marian--

are you two (Amy & Marian) sisters?

Loud baby

There was a loud baby in the liberry the other day (well, actually every day), and Sharon asked the 20 year old parents to take the baby outside / whatever to calm it down. The mother got on her yell phone and called her mom: Mom, will you come get Laura, Josh won't take care of her.