Where are we?

There's a man who asks us tough questions and practices his golf swing while we are doing the research for him. Of course he doesn't bring a club, but he acts as if the liberry is his driving range!

Fun title

Do you have Pati Palmer's Pants for Real People?

Marking books?

Woman about 50-- I haven't been to the liberry in years. Is it ok if I bring my own book in and read it while I'm waiting for the Internet? Do you have to mark it or something, will any alarms go off?

My favorite customer

My favorite customer is a man in his 90s and can't hear much at all. He always wants to request books by Rex Stout and Hugh Pentecost.

The other day he called me his niece and asked me if I'd invite him to my wedding. Absolutely I'd invite him.

Authors are artists too

Girl-- Hi, I know what book I want, but I don't know the artist.

NASWP

The tall man who wears his pants about 10 inches above the waist came to the desk asking for thread. I said sorry, I don't have any thread. He said I can't believe my pants have a hole in them. They are nice pants. And they have a hole. I can't understand it.

Sorry, needle & thread = not a service we provide.

Program?

Two women come to the desk--

Hi, about six months ago you had a program where everyone learned how to drive. They said there would be coffee, and told us to bring our friends. When's that program happening again?

As the crowds come running in...

customers #1 and #2 in line had the following exchange:

CALM DOWN.

I'M CALM.

CALM DOWN.

I'M CALM

CALM DOWN.

I'M CALM.

CALM DOWN.

I'M CALM

Obviously they both needed to calm down!

Phone Call

Hello, this is Amy, how can I help you?

Do you have a phone book of Puerto Rico?

Ditsy

So can you verify your address please?

Long pause... um, I don't send myself mail so I don't know. I think it is ...

Elderly woman asks---

Where is the photostatting machine?

Today's Lost & Found

• Purple washcloth
• Yell phone
• Red purse

Mr. Frank

An older man came to the desk and asked when is Mr. Frank coming back? I told him that Mr. Frank works at a different branch now (he left about a year or more ago). Then the man looked at me and said, I bet you can help me, I can see it in your face.

He didn't want any help then, but said he'll come back and ask for me (the one with the face that says I can help!)

12 year old

12YO: Hi, I'd like to place an order. (he gave me title of the DVD).

10 minutes later

12YO: Hi, I'd like to unorder the DVD.

Story from Sharon

This didn't happen in a liberry, but here's Sharon's story that could have happened in a liberry:

Sharon had the following conversation while outside with her dogs:

Young Woman: Is she a poodle?

Sharon: No, he's a Cocker Spaniel.

YW: Is that like a poodle?

Sharon: No... it's like a ... Cocker Spaniel.

YW: Oh. Because she looks like a poodle.

Sharon: No, he's a Cocker Spaniel.

YW: Oh. OK. Thanks.

Sharon: You're welcome.

Pick up line

I can't believe I haven't blogged this one (at least I couldn't find it in the archives). During one of my first days @ the liberry a guy was sitting in the true crime section and said to his friend about me--

Do you think she does tae bo? Cuz she sure knocks me out!

More looney tunes

A woman about 45 skipped by the desk and said I have nothing to do today, as usual. Hahahaha.

Strange Day

Today I worked with Retired Librarian. I love working with her because she tells it like it is. Right off the bat we could tell this was going to be a strange day. After the first three customers she told me-- we are working with some real looney tunes today. And it was true.

For instance, one woman told RL that she had never been to the liberry before. RL explained the whole reservation system for the Internet, and the woman replied-- that's just like it was here yesterday.

A super odd guy holding a box of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds and a bunch of pink hydrangeas came to the desk and told RL that he couldn't find what he was looking for in the card file. RL said-- we don't have a card file. He responded-- oh, I'm a child of the 70's. Later he asked me if I wanted the flowers and before I could answer NO, he said-- well you can't have them Amy! He put them in his ponytail.

As we were closing, RL commented-- that was a strange day. We've had strange days before, but this was definitely one of the strangest ones. Do you think it's in the water or is it in the air?

Security Guard Stalker

Last year or so the woman security guard had a stalker. He returned to the library a few months ago. Usually he wears the same green shirt. Yesterday I was so surprised to see him in a gray shirt-- I hardly recognized him! j/k

Paula

Paula, the retired LIII, subbed yesterday. She helped a man about her age find some info. He asked her if he could kiss her cheeks and give her a big hug. She said, no kisses, no hugs. Only virtually.

Self Checkout Machines

The other day I was @ the dentist's office, and the dental hygienist (Rachel) and I had the following conversation about those self checkout machines:

Rachel: How's the library? I just love how it is all self checkout. It is so easy, so great!

Me: I wish more people would think the way you do.

Rachel: I mean, it is just so easy:

• Choose language-- English. BONK.
• Scan library card. BONK.
• Scan barcode on book. BONK.
• Choose FINISH. BONK.
• And get your receipt. I love it! What is there not to love about it?

Always the same...

A guy always approaches the desk with the same monologue:

I'm fine, good. Hallo, how are you, I'm fine, and then he starts his question without a pause.