Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Construction: Reference Lib. Office --> Study Room

The reference office for the liberrians is being converted into a study room for the customers. Today I got to clean out the file cabinet and throw mostly everything away. I found one file with an inner-office mailing envelope. Inside was a piece of broken glass with a note saying "microfilm machine -- broken glass." I am so glad the previous generation(s) of liberrians saved that for me to discover. I'll probably find more gems when I finish cleaning the office out on Sunday AM. Stay tuned.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Was that supposed to be funny?

Customer: Yesterday was Sunday, right? And today's Monday? No, actually it is Moonday.

Get it? Sun and Moon? Haha...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Not the words I wanted to hear

Hi hon, I'm Linda, and I don't know anything about computers. You're gonna get to know me real well!

Where's the printer?

Over @ the front desk.

Wow, what a trip!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Speedy reference @ your liberry

Woman in her 30's: Hi, I'm on a 15 min break from work, and I need to find all of these titles. (There were about 8).

I found three of them in the liberry and showed her were they were. She had enough time to get back to work! Yay Speedy Reference!

Guy about 25...

Hi, can I buy some time for the Internet?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Great way to start a conversation

Woman about 25: Hi, I'm mentally ill... and I'd like to sign up for a library card.


Do you know when Africa will be wired for fiber optics?

Do you think I have super powers or something?

Around 4PM

Just before closing @ 5, people set up a wedding ceremony right in front of the liberry. Everyone who walked through the exit walked by, and probably through, the wedding. The bride was dressed in black, and a professional photographer was there.

How can I sign up to be...

a poet laureate?

Sure, let me get you the phone number. Just as easy as that. haha.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Really old men and a grumpy old man

First the really old men from today:
  1. The first one gave me a little pink rose that he picked from someone's garden.
  2. The second one gave me a piece of bubble gum leftover from Halloween.
  3. And I missed the third one today, Mr. I want the books by Hugh Pentecost and Rex Stout-- whenever I see him he gives me his pen.
And to balance all of that off--

One grump asked me if all of the customers are keeping me busy. I said yes, and he replied learn to relax and take it easy! Sorry, can't really relax when everyone wants to sign up for a card, have me sign them into the pc's, explain the reservation system, answer the phone, and do whatever research is needed by myself @ the desk!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Policy Manual for another liberry

Our friend Annabelle works for another liberry system. Today she was reviewing the policy and procedures and came across this sentence in the collection development chapter:

"We strive to present a balanced collection that contributes to the development of reproductive and happy citizens."

Thanks Annabelle!

Monday, November 09, 2009

5-8 PM @ ref. desk...

When does lib close? Oh, I thought it was 5. no, it’s 8. really?

Twitter girl: Help me sign up for twitter. What does alternate email mean?

Have you seen my brother? He’s kinda bald. He's 12, and my sister is 11.

I didn’t go to school today. Celebrated veterans day. Do you have homework? No. how’d you get so lucky? I don’t know.

Can you cancel this? I didn’t want it, just wondered if my lib card worked.

Twitter girl: Help me set up yahoo?

Twitter girl: How do you do that @ sign?

Twitter girl asks questions like that for the rest of the night.

Do you have A Separate Peace? According to III we do, but of course it wasn't on the shelf.

When do you close?

Caller asks Heather-- who is the head of Medicare?

My reservation is for 7:15 for 45 minutes. Can it be an hour? No, because we close at 8. You can't make it an hour?

I listen to Heather spell out something on the phone: H as in hello!

Can you print some mapquest directions?

I've never been here before; do you have anything by Leon Uris?

Earlier today I cleaned out my desk which will be destroyed in the remodel.

Man who is a friend of the man who asks us to print out daily horse racing entries tells me that because we don't have the movie A Tree Grows in Brooklyn I outta be ashamed of myself. Then he asks for me about a Bruce Willis movie I couldn't find in III and he tells me I'm way too young to even hear of the movie.

What sorts of inpatient drug rehab centers are here locally?

Can you show me where the CD Books are? I show her, and she says thanks girl.

Do you have a street map?

Purple sequiny ballerina lady asks for books on weddings. She has painted her toes and nails purple, wears purple eye makeup with a little ballerina bow in her hair. Her shirt, belt, sandals, and part of her skirt has sequins. The hem on her denim skirt is jagged and cut so that it flows as she walks. I wish I had a picture.

The millionth person asks why do we have so many empty shelves? Several reasons-- we weeded to the extreme in preparation for RFID, we have a floating collection now (doesn't really contribute to empty shelves though, I don't think), and we're doing a big remodel starting this week.

Do you have Popular Mechanics? I see you have it in Spanish.

Twitter girl: How old do you have to be to help here?

TG: Does it cost money to watch the Thursday movie?

#5 restarted and took 15 minutes (yes, I watched the clock) to restart.

Woman wants me to print out her airline ticket but doesn't have the confirmation number.

I can't believe how many people come here wearing flannel pj's and slippers. As if the liberry was a college dorm.

Do you have the Diary of a Wimpy Kid?

Kids: Do you know that Jesus guy? (The one who wears religious shirts, talks about Jesus, etc).

The comment reminded me of Sister Act-- Hail girls, hail Mary, what's up? You know that guy over there?..

Kid: Do you have Harry Potter #1 book?

No, but I can order one for you. Would that be ok?

Yes you may.

Do you have any Harry Potter books here?

I find one in the YA section. I give him the book and he says Thanks Amy! Wow, this is 36 chapters. I'm in 5th grade, going into 6th grade next year. I am so nervous.... My mom is out shopping with a friend.

Maybe she could help you find your library card so you can check this out.

Thanks Amy!

Why are all the magazines on the bookshelf?

Because we are going through a remodeling and lots of things are out of place.

LLOTN (last looney of the night-- T minus 10 minutes before closing): Do you have my cell phone?

No, did you check in lost and found?

(comes back 5 minutes later)-- Do you have my cell phone?

No, I don't. Then I'm going to ask them again @ Lost and Found.

The circular conversation continues. He goes back and forth between the circ desk (lost and found) and the ref desk. He said that he knows there is a cell phone in this building. I asked him if he wanted me to call it, and he said no, it doesn't work like that.

Today is Monday, and he lost it last Friday. He said last Saturday someone named Nancy called him and told him it is at the liberry. (no one named Nancy works here).... looney tune conversation continues until we close.

Good Night!

Are we in the same building?

Must be nice, working in such a calm and serene environment!

The logic is crystal clear

That's why we root for Steelers; even though we hate them, because we want Denver to lose.

Friday, November 06, 2009


My sister sometimes goes to the public liberry while she's waiting to pick up her husband from work. Today she sent me an IM via Yahoo and it read as follows:

Hi again from the library. I just got approached by the security guard here letting me know that I can't use a calculator in the quiet area. I just moved. Pretty strict around here.

I think that security guard needs to trade places with the s.g. @ my liberry.


Thursday, November 05, 2009

Say again, and this time SPELL it

I think I hear the guy say he wants a book on tofu. So I look up the number and walk over to the 641's. I show him a couple of books on tofu, and he looks at me funny and says no, tofu, learn English. He meant TOEFL.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009


One of our regulars (a little girl) insisted on plyaing MASH with me today.

I am pleased to report the results:

I will marry DEAN CAIN in a beautiful RED dress and we will have our honeymoon in VIENNA. We will have ONE kid and live in a MANSION and drive a MINI COOPER.


Battleship 1984

Hi, I'm looking for the owners manual for the game Battleship from 1984.

I wasn't able to find this one, but he was happy with a phone number to Hasbro/Milton Bradley. (I could have sent it on to our Level 2 researchers, but he didn't want to have to wait).

Awesome vocabulary

A kid, maybe 4th grade, was watching me search the catalog. Lots of people ask me how many wpm I type, but this kid said--

wow, what great dexterity you have!

Homeless Stats

Annoying man who thinks he has a great website about his air conditioning / heating business (that's another side story for another day):

There are 150 homeless people in this city who have phd's. Makes ya think about going to school, doesn't it?


Boy about 6 or so: Are you the owner of this liberry?
Me: No, but how can I help you?
Boy: There is something terribly wrong.
Me: Well, how can I help?
Boy: There's a ghost haunting this liberry.

Then his mom came and took him away.

3 things

Man who wears his pants 10 inches above his waist had 3 issues today:

  1. The "don't walk" sign outside says WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT too many times.
  2. The way they measure the weather outside varies from site to site. Why is that? I said it is probably because they are taking the temps @ different points in the city.
  3. The clock on #17 is off, and it's been 3 days since the time change.

Monday, November 02, 2009


Girl asks Marian-- I'd like a book on how to prepare meatloaf, because that's what I want to do today.

Marian starts to walk over to the 641's and the girl stops and says Sorry. (pause) I don't mean to make you hungry.

St. Mona Lisa?

Today I wore my black Mona Lisa-- discover the art of reading (from summer reading club) shirt with a black fleece sweatshirt zipped 3/4 of the way. All the customer could see was ML's head. He asked which saint is that on your shirt?

a new friendship

Two men were sitting next to each other @ the Internet pcs. One of them noticed that the other was on the same site and said HEY, A FELLOW DRAGONBALLZ FAN! ALL RIGHT! and they high fived each other.

Science fair season

A kid in roughly 6th grade came to the desk looking for materials on plants. I asked him questions about his project: what type of plants will you be testing, what kind of tests will you do, etc.

He said the plants are green and I'm gonna put sugar in one of 'em and see how the nutrients work.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

If I had a million dollars...

Man who is always looking for the purple book comes to the desk with a bookmark that he found:

Look what I found, is this a million dollar bill? Do you think I should take it to lost and found? Do you think this is real? Do you think somebody lost it? Maybe they'll look for it in lost and found if I take it there....