Friday, April 30, 2010

Every time...

Guy: Do you still work here?
Me: Yeah.
Guy: Ha ha. I love that, I'm sorry.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

One of my favorite DRG's

Now where in the world did you hide the encyclopedias for this outfit?

Obsolete Technology Day

Guy: Do you have typewriters?

Me: Well, we have A typewriter.

Guy: Just one?

(he comes back a few minutes later)

Guy: Do you have one of those rubber stamp things? You know, with the date you can change?

Me: No, sorry...we got rid of those when we got the receipt printers.

(a few minutes later, a different guy comes up)

DG: Do you still sell those 3.5 in floppy disks?

Me: Sorry, not any more.

The Liberry Loves Amy!

Someone filled out a comment card the other day that said:

"Amy was patience and hospitality. I was in great need and she help me."

Lovely! We <3 Amy too!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Thursday, April 22, 2010


Caller: My husband and I are having an argument about how to spell a word. It means taking pleasure in someone's pain and it sounds like shodfooden.

Below are my Google web history searches:
shod fooden
shod feud
shod feut takes pleasure in someones pain
shot n feut takes pleasure in someones pain
shodenfeut takes pleasure in someones pain
shoenfelt takes pleasure in someone's pain

FINALLY-- a wikipedia page comes up. The definition matches because it's something about taking pleasure in someone's pain, so I write down the spelling (schadenfreude) and look the word up in the OED. I find that schadenfreude means malicious enjoyment of the misfortunes of others, and is from the German schaden (harm) freude (joy).

I give the woman the information and she says her husband wants to tell me something. He says you guys are the best! You always pull through, every time we call you! Thank you ever so much.

Robotics Guy

The robotics guy came today to pick up the books that Marian requested. He said to me-- You were the one who helped me earlier this week. I already got the books that you ordered for me, thank you so much! I didn't remember him, but I knew exactly who he was when I saw the titles of the books.

Judging a book by the cover?

Girl in her 20s comes to the desk to ask for Le Divorce by Diane Johnson. I show her the book, and the cover is like the first image to the left. She isn't happy with it, because it wasn't the cover she had seen in the catalog with the "movie tie-in" seen below. She said she doesn't want to read the book if it has a cover like the illustrated one.

a pup named 7UP?

Girl: Do you have Marley and Me?
Me: Sure, it's right over here.
Girl: Do you also have Pepsi and Sprite?
Me: I type in Pepsi and Sprite and nothing comes up. I ask her if she knows what the book is about, and she tells me something about a dog.
Oh, then it's Rescuing Sprite by Mark Levin!

Keepin it real @ the liberry

Guy: So how many items can I check out?
Me: Since your address is not verified you can check out 2 items. Once you bring in your proof of address you can check out as many as you want. There isn't a limit.
Guy: For real?
Me: For real.

Monday, April 19, 2010


A guy is looking for some books on adavnced robotics programming. I show him how to order books from the nearby colleges, and say we'll e-mail him when they come in.

Him: Oh, I don't have email.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

City v. County cards

A guy shows me his card for the City and asks if he can use it here. I tell him no, but he can get a County card very easily. He asks, what does it take to upgrade my City card for the County?

Mr. Purple Book is conscientious

Hey, can I have some of this paper? [these are cut-up pieces of scrap paper--librarians call them p-slips for some reason.]
How many can I have? As many as you want.
Okay, I'll take three. Or four. Or no, just three. Here, I put these back for you.
So what's the policy on these pencils? I have to bring it back as soon as I write something down, right? I have to bring it right back? No, you can hang onto it while you're in the library and just give it back at the end when you leave.
But what if I forget to bring it back? It's not the end of the world.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I came here today because...

A woman ordered 10 books last January and never received email notification that they were ready for pickup. She explained the situation to me and said she hadn't planned to come to the library today, but stated I came here today because I was mad.

Fortunately two of the books were available for pickup so that solved part of the situation. Of course she didn't have the list of other books she requested. I hope she went home less mad!

Friday, April 09, 2010

Very 1st liberry card

This guy made his first visit to the liberry in search of a GED book. I helped him sign up for a card. I asked him if he had an ID or piece of mail with his current address. He said no, so do I have to leave a $50 retainer? Then as I was giving him the card and sheet with the fines/fees/locations on it he said I knew there would be money involved! Is that how you get paid? Oh, that's just like elementary school-- a quarter a day!

And then... you're gonna be see'in a lot of me, and next time I'm going to bring 5 friends!

Tuesday, April 06, 2010


  • Adriana Trigiani-- the latest
  • tax forms & do you have a couple rubber bands?
  • list of all local historical books on letterhead, ok then, I'll just write them out on a piece of paper, (but you can search the catalog... oh no, I don't do that)
  • anything from George Bernard Shaw for two old ladies-- while I'm searching the catalog, they are looking at the flyers of upcoming events. They comment to each other-- I am so done with that (musical program). And that too (another program). Great.
  • music by UB40 & how do you spell UB40?
  • (local history man comes back): Isn't it beautiful, you have 1,500 books in your local history, you have books that other people are looking for. This is a strong library.
  • Judge Judy's book Keep it Simple Stupid
  • order a book for the book club-- we don't have it here, how long will it take? 5-7 days. Big annoyed sigh.
  • do you have a fax machine? no. uh? everything but a fax?
  • order a book for the book club. no large print?
  • how to get into Reference USA
  • 89 year old man: can you issue me a card? is there a standard for locating things in liberries? where's the new age section?
  • I'm gonna need a telephone book in a few minutes, where do I go?
  • you gotta class here today?
  • how do I get a card?
  • how to request through the various types of ILLs we have
  • 2 guys want a book on boat repair-- I tell them I'd have to order it-- do i have to pay? no. -- THE LIBRARY IS DOPE
  • this library is beautiful! just beautiful!
  • girl wants to order about 15 movies
  • apply for a lib card-- oh look, you already have one with $75 in fines
  • annual credit report for free, by phone
  • did they get my money to pay my fine? i had my people pay it for me
  • where are rooms A and B?
  • how long do i have to wait for that book Oklahoma! do you have Illinois!
  • order How of Happiness
  • can't find Imperial life in the emerald city anywhere. Let me double check. Yes, it was right where it was supposed to be! Unusual.
  • Wall Street Journal
  • tenant / landlord law
  • microfilm upsidedown and backwards-- needed to unravel it- what a mess!
  • obituary request (#3 of the day)
  • true crime & Sylvia Browne
  • Red Dahlia by Linda LaPlante
  • happiest baby on the block DVD
  • where would I find Blood Brothers?.... friend: lets go ask this chick
  • Where are the Harry Potter books?
  • I need to update my card. It has expired.
  • ASVAB book
  • Precious by Novak-- can I see the cover?
  • women talking: my daughter, she moved, she's only 3 blocks from the library! I told her to bring her son to story time.
  • where's the computers where I can look up books? Right there. Oh, that just looks like somewhere to burn CDs.
  • I'm a tutor, where can I meet with my learner?

Monday, April 05, 2010


Where's the LP section at?
How do I sign up to use a computer?
Bipolar disorder-- I need some info to talk to the doctor this afternoon.
Family wants 6 cards-- people walk away because they don't want to wait behind this family
German dictionary-- a small one the size of a passport. . . (Later)... zwiebel-- it's onion in German!
NOLO press book- Get it together
Which are the catalog computers?
Sign up for lib card
Comic strips
Another card
Naruto TV vol. 18 and 20
Penske truck rental website because got kicked off of express computer
Coin collecting
Where's the book on mental illness?
Phone call- called directly to ref. desk-- ANNOYING
Is that the only 2 catalogs you have? (NO)
Bleach movies, why don't you have the most recent ones
Glass Castle -- customer #20 on list
Where is the NOLO books section? (Right over there, on display) Where are the rest of the NOLO books?
Tech tells customers that that lady over there (i.e. me) has special training in and in genealogy in general.
I know you have more books than you have out. Where can I search?
Fines $38. Thirty eight bucks? Man, I'm gonna have to save my allowance. My mom is gonna get mad at me.
Tree books
Are these the only 2 catalog computers you have? Where's your language section?
Books on house plans. For a duplex.
What does it take to get a lib card?
Did I already ask you about... oh, I forgot.
Iliad + CDB (we have both!)
Romeo and Juliet
Lamott, Anne
Pirates of Penzance DVD
Tax form printout-- NO, we don't give advice!
Audiobooks delivered to a library near me? Awesome.

*This refgrunt eliminated all of the questions like can I have a pencil, can I have a kleenex, where's the bathroom, etc.