Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Phone call

I was helping a woman request a book over the phone. When I asked for her library card number she said oh fiddleflakes! where did I put that?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

That will really confuse everyone!

Some of the books that are requested come from a different liberry system. They require a different check in process-- we have to write the customer's LAST name on a slip of paper and stick it in the book like a bookmark. Then it goes to the customer holds shelf where they pick up the book under their LAST name.

Yesterday someone in the tech room got confused and put all of the books from the different liberry system under their MIDDLE name. Fortunately it wasn't too many books, but it was enough to confuse people.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Today's highlights

Girl-- Do you have Dead Man at Sea?
Me-- I don't see that in our catalog. Do you think it could possibly be Old Man and the Sea?
Girl-- No, I'm pretty sure it's Dead Man at Sea. Let me show you my syllabus-- which said-- Old Man and the Sea!

Guy-- Do you have music from Royal Pain?
He was really looking for music by House of Pain.

Mr. Purple Book-- I need to ask you something that's a secret. Oh, never mind. I'll ask you tomorrow. What time are you open?

Woman walks by desk just after the "we're closing in 10 minutes" announcement and says-- I can't believe no one moves after that announcement. That's hilarious!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Come again?

Guy: I need a book on hernagles.

Me: I'm sorry?

Guy: I need a book on hernagles.

Me: Um...what sort of thing is that?

Guy: You know, like the history of the bopart.

Me: Hmm. Where is that?

Guy: Downtown!

Me: Like downtown [this city], or downtown [big city nearby]?

Him: Downtown [big city].

Me: Okay, let me show you the local history section.

Him: Thank you!

(I still do not know what he was trying to say)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Girl looking for Al Capone book

This girl about 20 was looking for an Al Capone book. She said the title = Al Capone, but didn't know the author. I brought up a list of books that start with Al Capone, and she couldn't recognize the subtitles.

She said (about her boyfriend) Send his ass over here, let him do it, what the hell.

He came over and we found out he had already requested the book, and that the title was Capone, not Al Capone.


Today a man offered to organize the newspapers once a week for $200, cash only! I said something along the lines of it's NASWP...

The "cash only" part = hilarious.

Abbreviated RefGrunt

  • I'd like applications for my husband to be a taxi driver in Cities X, Y, Z, & W.
  • Man walks by wearing between-the-toe sandals and socks and says I got the wrong shoes!
  • A huge number of people walked in around 11AM-- they must have been on the same bus.
  • Heather offers to get a replacement card for a customer; customer angrily says I'm a victim of identity theft and storms off.
  • Every other question is do you have textbooks?
  • Old man wants to make a photostat of ValueLine.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Woman about 70

Woman about 70: Can you tell me what number I am for the Danielle Steel book?
Me: Sure, let me scan your card.... oh wow, today is your lucky day. The book is ready for you to check out!
Woman: Thanks babe!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Yell Phones

We have a rule that cell phone conversations must occur in the lobby or outside. Yesterday a man came to the desk, which is located no where near the exit, and said is this considered the lobby?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Humor in the AM

Man about 60-- There's 2 tables I need to reserve from 10-2 every day. So I want you to put my name on them.
Me-- (looking puzzled)
Man-- Haha, just kidding! I wanted to give you a little humor to start your morning.
Gee, thanks.

1st ref q of the day

Woman about 25: I'm doing an extra credit report. What are the causes of St. Patrick's Day?
Me: Do you mean why do people celebrate St. Patrick's Day?
Woman: I guess. I just need to know what caused St. Patrick's Day.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Refgrunt! Sunday Sunday Sunday!!

Guy calls wanting a car manual we don’t have

Do we have a landline for public use? No.

They want to download audiobooks to their Zune

Guy with purple hat, plaid shirt and giant beard wants books on yoga

Do we have a trade journal for lawyers? He wants to hire an expert witness.

Lady brings her shiny new red laptop up to the desk—can I help her connect to the wireless? Yep. [Why don’t they make shiny red MacBooks??]

Guy says: When I requested those books from another branch, the status changed and now they’re showing as belonging to your branch! That must be the floating process you were talking about! (Yes!) Wow, you guys really were right about that after all! (Yep)

Do you have any of the old-fashioned machines where you put money in and you can Xerox?

Sharp-dressed man wants a library card

“I got a question for ya. Where do you keep the books on investing? Like, investing money.”

Sharp-dressed man wants to know where the DVDs are

How do you use the microfilm machine?

Man with very long hair and very long beard points to catalog: “is this where I go to look up books?”

Nice older gentleman wants a book about Gordon of Khartoum. He tells me the battle he was in was the last charge by mounted horsemen against regulars with repeating rifles. Not one horseman made it across.

Sequel to Wicked by Gregory Maguire

Wants the Lucy & Desi book, but doesn’t want to request it. Will check back, even though I tell her it probably won’t be here unless she requests it.

Money origami: everything is checked out and she needs it by Wednesday for her mom’s b-day present so we print out something from this site.

Articles about adult learning—I show her how to use the database!

Adult learning lady says to the next lady in line, “you look so familiar—have we met?” Other lady says, “you’re the second person who’s said that to me here today!”

Other lady wants The Book Thief by Markus Zusak—long waiting list because all the schools are reading it

Lady in a very pink outfit wants the vehicle code

Where is the bathroom, please.

Do we have Watership Down? (No, because all the schools are reading it) Okay, how about Shiloh? (Yes.)

Mr. Purple book asks, as usual, “Is that the right time?” (Yes) and “When does the library close, 5?” (Yes)

Where are the copy machines?

Can I use your stapler?

Does Heather still work here? I never see her any more. (Yep, she’s still here)

Where is the bathroom? And is it okay if I leave my laptop here while I go? (I wouldn’t)

Can I request Linux for Dummies?

Gump & Co. by Winston Groom

Guy wandering around, possibly on drugs: “I can’t do this.”
Me: “What are you trying to do?”
Guy: “Find a book. I don’t know what I want to read!”

Teenage girl: Do you have “Outlighters?”
Me: do you mean Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, or Outsiders by S.E. Hinton?
Girl: The Story of Success?
Me: Oh yeah, Outliers.
Girl: Is it Outliers or Outlighters?
Me: Outliers.

Guy who can’t find a book comes back with The Da Vinci Code.
Guy: Is this a good book?
Me: Well, it’s a good story
Guy: Okay, I think I’ll take it. I’ll read it in church—that should make people happy.

Later, at the checkout desk, Da Vinci Code Guy drops his book. “I can’t believe how loud that was!” he tells the lady next to him in line.

Can you recommend a magazine in Spanish so I can improve my comprehension?

Highlights from last week

I helped this immigrant man find something and he said-- you are excellent woman, this is serious, this is true.

A guy asked for the number for the county morgue because he said his sister died and he is having a hard time reaching her.

Mr. Purple Book couldn't remember the title and so he said excuse me miss, oh, I mean Amy, do you have, uh, ... you know the one!

The best highlight: SUMMER READING CLUB is over!!!

Friday, August 06, 2010


Do you have Alice Cooper, Golf Monster? I need to get it for my husband-- he spends more time drinking on the course than golfing!

A Good Day

Man about 27-- I got my court papers filed, I got CPS to return my son, today is a good day!

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Essential Body Oils

Old Man: Do you have books on essential body oils? Like the kind I buy in the store and put on my arms? I put some in my soup the other day and it sure didn't taste good. I put a lot of things in my soup.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Quotes of the Week

15 year old girl: I love your job!


Man about 60: There are so many good books here I can hardly stand it!