Sunday, October 31, 2010

Trick or Refgrunt!

A guy is looking for Bone Thugs –N-Harmony cds

Same guy comes back and wants to know who sings the song “You’re Beautiful” [James Blunt, vom]

Can I borrow a pencil?

Wants the movies Saw, Paranormal Activity, and Astro Boy.

He just returned a book yesterday, but he didn’t mean to. He can’t remember the exact title or author, but thinks it was orange. I look all over but can’t find it. Meanwhile, he keeps gazing forlornly into the bookdrop, since that’s where he last saw it.

Guy says several back issues of Barron’s are missing. Sadly, they’re probably stolen (people saving money to invest?)

Seasons 2, 3, and 4 of Oz. (yells across library) “Honey, do we need season 5 too?”

Phone: wants to renew all 31 books

A lady signs up on the catalog for a new library card and also wants to know: “Is there an easier way to find the books?”

Barron’s guy comes back and whispers: “I found one!”

Another lady brings in proof of address and wants to know how many books she can check out now. I take great pleasure in telling her AS MANY AS YOU WANT!!

Phone: A different lady, more renewals, plus she has 29 holds to pick up!

Orange book guy comes back with title and author, and we find it! I overlooked it before because it has a pink spine.

Nice regular who can’t check out (too many fines or something) comes in to look at his “favorite book”, The Turbulent 60s.

A lady walks up to the desk: “I’m just calling, ha, I mean I just came in to see if my book is here.” She also shows me all the books she bought at the Friends of the Library bookstore: “I never go to Barnes and Noble anymore! I don’t pay $19 when I can get the same thing right here!”

“Wow, you’re wearing four watches!” (part of my Halloween costume, “Memento Mori”)

Phone: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Her hold’s been in transit for 3 weeks—where is it?

Guy shows me a book called The Angry Book. “What other angry books do you have?”

I look high and low for the copy of Rabbit-Proof Fence that was returned 2 days ago, but it’s in the Recently Returned Bermuda Triangle and nowhere to be found.

“I could find it myself, but you just look so ready to help me!”

One of our regulars comes looking for an article from the New Republic on taxing the rich. He’s followed at about 5 paces by a nearly seven-foot-tall man in green checkered pants, green jacket, and Panama hat, who doesn’t say anything but walks along behind as we go to the shelves.
The first guy tells me that being female, I have a heroine in Brooksley Born, whistleblower in the financial collapse.

Not this instant?

Woman: Hi, I'd like to request a movie.
Me: OK, which one?
Woman: (tells me a title)
Me: Do you have your liberry card? (and I request it for her)

Woman: So where do I pick it up?
Me: It will be with the customer holds near the copy machine under your last name.
Woman: Where?
Me: (explain in more detail)
Woman: So it's there, right now?
Me: No, it will take about a week.
Woman: A week?!?

Overheard today

One older lady to another: Oh, I never go to [nearby city] any more.

Other older lady: Oh, you should! We have a lovely new police station. It's the size of the Taj Mahal!

Lady: Where are the books from 1961?

Me: Any particular one?

Lady: The one on harmonica playing.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Statue of ?

Immigrant about 35: Do you have any books or movies on the Statue of Literacy?
Me: Do you mean the Statue of Liberty?
Immigrant: I don't know, the one in New York.
Me: That's the Statue of Liberty.
...and I found her a couple books.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Mr. Purple Book's style of questioning

This post sounds a lot like the conversation I usually have with Mr. Purple Book. But today someone else was wandering the stacks. He asked me if that book came in.

Which book?
The one you ordered for me.
Do you have your card?
You don't remember the book?
I guess not. But if you give me your liberry card I can check for you.
OK, thanks.

Trick or Treat

I gave the woman a replacement card. She dumped out her whole purse in order to find something; I don't know what. I suggested she move to a table where she can spread out. She did. After she cleaned out her purse she gave me a chocolate.



A woman asks me about the handful of scary movies in her hand. She wants to know a summary of each one. Then she tells me she wants these movies because she is trying to scare the pants off of her 15 year old granddaughter. The next person in line commented-- just tell her you're pregnant!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Outdoor education

There's a woman who always wants articles on high fructose corn syrup. However, yesterday she came in asking for articles on outdoor education for children. I asked her to narrow the subject and she said she's-- looking for pros/cons about outdoor education for children. Oh, nevermind. I changed my mind. Can you think of something I can research? I got it-- I want articles on reactive carbonyls.

If I forgot my card...

If I don't have my card with me, can I still check out these DVDs?
You can check them out if you have a picture ID with you.
How can we negotiate?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

7 years later

I've been working @ this branch for 7 years. Just a couple weeks ago I learned that the ref desk has a panic button! Unbelievable!


A frustrated (bordering on angry) man came to the desk with a dictionary. He said he can't find the word manipulate in the dictionary, & has been looking for 15 minutes. He said he tried manupulate and manepulate.

When I showed him where it = in the dictionary he couldn't believe it!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

An "embarrassing" question

A guy about my age comes to the desk, and tells me that he has an "embarrassing question." He asked me where I can find one of those blue boxes where you put mail. I told him the nearest post office is two blocks down the street from here. He said oh thanks, and walked away. Totally embarrassing for him?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Are you good at math?

(I majored in math, but I'd never state that to a customer).

Caller: Are you good at math?
Me: Somewhat.
Caller: I'm trying to figure out what's 3 hours after 4:09. Would that be 7:09?
Me: Yes.
Caller: Thanks. Bye.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Prescription for disaster

A man came to the desk with a letter in his hand that said he owes $25 for a book he didn't return. He had a plastic bag of Rx's- about 7 bottles. He shook the bag and explained I am a very sick man. I cannot afford to pay the $25. Very sick man. Then he dumped the bottles onto the desk and picked them up, one by one: Diabetes, High Blood Pressure...

I stopped him after he listed off the first 2 meds. I explained to him that we have an amnesty day coming up, and that he can return the book then and not be charged. He had me write it down so he could understand it.

He left and told me I am an amazing woman!

Um ... no

Do you have Biogenetics for Dummies?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Can't fool us

A guy about 25 wanted to get a replacement liberry card. I said sure, let me see your ID please. He whips out someone else's 7th grade ID card. I said-- this isn't you. He said oh, and walked away.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

SAT review books

Background: An impatient mother wanted to get the SAT review book for her son. She said she was just at the community college liberry- they had the book, but she put it down and walked away and it was no where to be found.

She starts out: Is that mildew I smell in here? I haven't been here in a year and it sure smells like mildew. I'll just call the city. My son is an engineer for the city. (then asks for SAT review books)

I check the catalog and find that the 2011 and 2010 editions are checked out. Before I have a chance to say-- can I order one for you, or can I call another branch and ask them to put it on hold for you, she demands-- well call around town then.

As I'm "calling around town" she whips her cell phone out and tells someone that the "2010 and 2011 editions are no where to be found. She's calling around town. I refuse to drive to that branch unless they will put it on hold for me" (which is exactly what I was doing, and smiling through it all). Branch X finds the 2009 edition and puts it on hold.

She says-- who did you talk to, so I can blame them when they can't find it?

I give her the directions to the branch and she is impressed that I have it all printed out for her. As she leaves, she tells me -- thanks, you are awesome!

Happy ending.

Saturday, October 02, 2010

I got this one in 2 guesses

Middle aged woman-- Do you know that author of fiction; she writes lots and lots of books.
Me-- Nora Roberts?
MAW-- No, her picture is on the back of all the books.
Me-- Danielle Steel?
MAW-- Yes! That's it!


Lucky guess!