A guy was here the other day and very upset that we didn't have any books in stock on how to make holograms [I was impressed we even owned any at all] --"I'm an inventor! It's the government, they're censoring me, etc etc."
Today he came back wanting books on kelp (he's going to make a fuel out of it), and told me this:
"I saw the Beatles and they told me I'd be the one to invent this!"
Me: The Beatles told you?
Him: "Yes, I'm telepathic."
He also said he speaks to Bill Gates by telepathy, but he doesn't like to admit it because he's a "sinner" for having stolen the GUI from Steve Jobs. Fair point.