Proof of Address

Earlier in the week I asked this guy to please bring in a proof of address- a piece of mail, a check book, a bill, etc.  The next day he came in with a huge UPS box with his address on it.

Thanks, that works!

The immigrant experience

One of my favorite customers, an older British man with a big curly moustache, is looking for some old movies. As we scroll through the list, he exclaims "Oh! The Pajama Game!  That's why I came to this country in the first place--I thought it would be like in the Pajama Game."

Me: And...not so much?

Him: Not really.

Brain sparkles

Preteen boy:  "Do you have the book Maximum Ride by...Robert Pattinson?"

It was inevitable, really...

Email from library HQ:

The Adult Book Club kit for “The Book Thief” by Marcus Zusak is currently missing. 
Can you all take a look around your branches to make sure it’s not in a closet, hiding behind some boxes, etc? 

A half an hour of my day

Teen girl:  Hi, I'm looking for a book written by the same author as the Anonymous who wrote Go Ask Alice.

A woman doesn't want to fill out the online application for a library card.  I find her a paper application.

As I'm scrolling through the books on a certain subject the customer asks me to hand her the mouse so that she can be in control.

Homeless Man:  You liberrians know it all, so answer me this:  Why is a bra yet a pair of panties?

A dad and his kid were sitting at the catalog  & overheard these exchanges.  As they were leaving, the dad told me-- you have incredible patience!

Book Emergency

Grandma carrying kid comes to the desk.

Grandma:  We have a book emergency.  (plops the kid on the desk and says) Jason, tell the lady what you are looking for.
Jason:  whispers to his Grandma
Grandma:  Jason, do you know the title?
Jason:  Yeah.
Grandma:  What is it?
Jason:  Whispers something
Grandma:  asks him to speak up
Jason:  Two dogs two.
Me:  I don't see anything with that title.  What else can you tell me about the book?
Jason:  It's Two Dogs Two.  The dog is smelly like a sock.

He was looking for My Dog is as Smelly as Dirty Socks by Hanoch Piven.

Self Destructive

Man:  Can I have a rubber band?
Me:  Ok.
Man:  You know, these rubber bands are self destructive.  I have lots of them at home but I forgot to bring them.  Oh, they are my rubber bands by the way.

Customer Comment

We have a local artist's display in the lobby.  Two older women remarked- we drove all the way from City Y (about 10 minutes away).  This is a disappointment.  The lighting in here is terrible.  Do you guys pay your bills?

Newspapers

A woman asked Jeannie, the LIII, where the newspapers are.  Jeannie told her where the newspaper room is, and the woman came back after 5 minutes. 
Woman: No, I am looking for today's papers.
Jeannie:  Today's papers are either in the newspaper room or someone is looking at them.
Woman:  I'd like to file a complaint.  The newspapers have been stolen.

Then it becomes my turn to be on the desk.  The woman says-- I'd like to make an apology to the head librarian.  I just realized I was looking for Sunday's paper and today is Saturday.

At least she apologized!

Seresly?

I gathered 4 comment cards out of the box & read them:

Too many hobows.
Too many bums.
Too many scratches on the DVDs.
Seresly!