Can you help me with my personal computer? All I know is that it is a Gateway.
A girl about 12 years old wanted to get a card & had already filled out the application. I asked her dad for his ID so that I could enter him as the responsible party. He said -- what? Did someone call me RESPONSIBLE?
A guy who was born in 1981 wanted me to find an airplane book that would have been popular in the late 70s / early 80s. I don't recall how I found it, but it was on etsy. It had the price on the cover of the book, and it was 39 cents.
Caller-- I need to know where I can recycle compact fluorescent light bulbs because they have mercury in them.
Caller -- Are you experiencing a power outage now?
An old man had an academic book in which he couldn't understand one of the footnotes. Annabelle and I couldn't figure it out either. Maybe a typo? He just loved that he could say he STUMPED THE LIBRARIAN.
The new trend among the computer users is pof.com (plenty of fish). Of this group no one knows how to upload their photo or edit their profile.
Woman -- can you check the lost and found?
Me -- Sure... What are you looking for?
W -- A book. I think I left it at my doctor's office.
A guy was here the other day and very upset that we didn't have any books in stock on how to make holograms [I was impressed we even owned any at all] --"I'm an inventor! It's the government, they're censoring me, etc etc."
Today he came back wanting books on kelp (he's going to make a fuel out of it), and told me this:
"I saw the Beatles and they told me I'd be the one to invent this!"
Me: The Beatles told you?
Him: "Yes, I'm telepathic."
He also said he speaks to Bill Gates by telepathy, but he doesn't like to admit it because he's a "sinner" for having stolen the GUI from Steve Jobs. Fair point.
Woman @ the RFID checkout tells me that the screen says that she can't check out. I look at her account and tell her that she has $64 in fines. I tell her that the fines are for overdue materials.
Woman: What do you mean?
Me: It is x amount per day, and these books are more than a month late.
Woman: I didn't know there was a due date... that's why I checked out so many of these kids books.
Me: The due dates are on the receipt.
Woman: I threw away the receipt. I just thought we could take as many as we want and return them when we can. I never heard of a "due date." OMG, my husband is going to kill me!
This man yelled at me (and then the LIII Annabelle) about why he should be able to check out a book that his wife reserved for herself with her card (that she didn't give to him). He repeatedly yelled to us- this is stupid, it's my wife, we are married!! Annabelle wrote up a security incident report to keep on record.
Anyway, the next person in line was from the League of Women Voters, and she wanted to drop off a flyer to advertise a lecture on civil discourse, or, how we can be more POLITE TO EACH OTHER.
--“Do you have a book on origami? You know, making folds and making animals?”
--Books by Mary Hunt Jackson. We eventually figure out she’s looking for
Helen Hunt Jackson, author of Ramona.
--“Um, this book is missing a few pages.” In fact it is
missing pages 1-64. I’ll get you another
copy. (Adventures of Tom Sawyer)
--“Can you help me? I
can’t find the N’s.”
--Hi Marian, I remember you from two years ago. I missed you. God bless you. Can you help me find some books on Leonardo
da Vinci and Jimi Hendrix? I remember you.
God bless you. Thank you. God bless you.
--“Do you have math books?
I need to get my brain…worked up.”
--Laundry Guy, with hiccups: “Do you know how a dishwasher
works? Is it that first the wash gets
the food off, then the rinse gets the soap off, then the sanitizer gets the
germs off?” Me: “Basically, yes.” (This
is just one of several similar conversations)
--Guy with one dark glasses lens and one clear: “I’m so
sorry to bother you. Can you help me find something to make with pop tops? I have about ten pounds of them.”
--Can you look up 641.5972 ORT?
--Phone: Where does the sound come from that the monolith
makes in 2001: a Space Odyssey? (“My name’s Joe but I go by Uncle Joe”)
--The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn
--Guy who always wants lists of SF authors’ works printed
out from fantasticfiction.com wants some more lists. He must have hundreds by now.
--Older lady: “Who is the author of 50 Shades of Grey?”
James, but there’s a long waiting list…”
OL (to a young guy, maybe her grandson?): “Sweetie, there’s a waiting
Me: (internally): “OMG ew.”
Branch Y is walking distance to a pretty big swimming pool. Yesterday this man walked into the liberry absolutely soaking wet. No towel- just shorts and a tanktop. He was wearing flip flops, so everyone could hear him walk. He was also carrying a large floatation device that looked like a big kick board. He couldn't find his party and let everyone know by swearing "where the &$/) are they." Then he sloshed out of the liberry.