Sunday, January 27, 2013

Not a service we provide

Hello, County Library, Branch W...

Caller:  Is this where the memorial service for Mary Smith will be held?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

No, thank you.

Annoying old guy: Hey, guess what, my last two wives were librarians.  Want to see my scars?

World Record

Guy: Do you know what the world record is for holding your breath?

Me: Uh, it looks like around 22 minutes according to the Guinness--

Guy: (interrupting, in singsongy kid voice) No it's noo-ot! No it's noo-ot!

Me: Okay...

Guy: I meditate and pray a lot, and I can hold my breath for FOUR HOURS!

(guy behind him in line tries not to laugh)

Me: Well, that's great.  Anything else you need me to look up for you?

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The Nanny

The nanny brought a little kid to the liberry to check out books.  The child's mother didn't give the nanny her card.  I told the nanny that I'd be unable to issue the kid a card because I needed either his mom or dad to be present so that they'd be the responsible party.  She replied-- ok, but he can still check out books without a card, right?

If he would be able to check out books without a card, what would be the point of having a liberry card?

2 new card holders

If someone wants to apply for a liberry card they have to go to the catalog and fill out a short application.  Once they fill it out and hit submit they are given a temporary barcode number.  If they don't write the number down they won't be able to set their PIN.  And pressing the back button in an attempt to get the temp barcode is useless.

Man #1:  I tried to hit the back button so I could write down the temp barcode but the screen said something like WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU DOING?

Later in the day, Man #2 also forgot to write down the number.  I was able to find his record from his ID.  He commented-- that was way easy, I mean, is that it?  No blood tests or DNA samples?  Does the keychain card work at the grocery store for discounts?

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The kind of thing librarians get excited about

Pleasant young woman: I'd like some books about playing the guitar.

Me: Oh sure!  You know, that's one of my favorite call numbers!  787.87!

PYW: ...

Me: You know, because it...repeats...anyway um here's your book

Tuesday, January 08, 2013


A guy wanted help connecting his laptop to the wi-fi so I went over to take a look.  Turned out it was a PC with a Pentium 4 processor running Windows 2000.  All it would say, forlornly, was "this computer is unplugged from the network".


A kid wanted a CD by a group called Koreans, I thought.  Nothing by that name.  Also not Queen, or Cream, or Cranes...I asked him to spell it and he thought it might be "Crians".  Nothing.

Eventually the lightbulb went on--Kid, do you mean Creedence Clearwater Revival?  Not sure, until I sang a few bars of "Down on the Corner".

The things I do for this job.